It's like watching a snowball roll down hill. First it's small, then slowly, gradually, it gets bigger until it's colossal in size and you can only hope you can dodge out of its path as it comes heading straight for you. And when you realize it's too late to run, you don't even try, you just stand there and let it come. You welcome it. You're expecting it, so you might as well open your arms toward it.
Somehow, that's how I am with you.
We hit the bed. I fall against your chest, our hips rubbing against each other just so as I push up and look down at you. You're wearing that smirk of yours that you seem to have plastered on your face. Every time I see you it's there and I wonder if maybe you know something I don't. You probably do.
Your hands snake up my thighs, coming up behind me. Your fingers press into my cheeks, firm from weekly workouts, soft from too many chocolates and desserts. Or so you say. You stretch me out, settling me in your lap. My hands dance over your skin, snaking down your chest. I draw up just enough for you to pull me back down and spear me with that flame of yours.
My head whips back, my body bowing. A pathetic sound escapes my lips, tumbling into the air before I can stop it. I can hear you hiss as my nails dig into your skin, my muscles tense. We both wait for me to relax, for my body to accept you as it always has.
Like the first time, for a moment, it seems I'm about to reject you, instinct telling me to stop and pull back, to retreat from these feelings that are threatening to overwhelm me. But little by little, then more, and more, I take you in, sucking you in like a breath of air, holding you inside me as if I can't afford to let go.
And you, being you, you let me adjust and swallow you whole before letting you out, inch by inch, until you seem too far away and I just have you take you in again. You know I'm a terrible person, never consistent enough to give you some peace of mind. But I know you like it anyway. You always have. Otherwise, why would we be here today, right now, like this?
It's been three years but it seems more like three minutes, and so much has happened between us. I still wonder how you came to like me. And even more than that, I wonder how I ever deserved to have you.
We're so incompatible, or so our friends say, yet we proved them wrong, didn't we? Even though you're steady as a rock, unmoving, I'm fluid like water, always changing, so unpredictable. But see, I need you. You're the only one who can stop me and change the direction of my flow.
I shake my head. We're such a strange pair, you being as cool and controlled as you are, me being as dangerous and wild as I am. I'm fully capable of assaulting you, harming you, doing more than just sucking you in. I can bite you and bleed you and drain you dry of everything that makes you... you. You know this. But you take it with a smile, smirking at me always as if you already know what I'm doing, what I can do. As if you know where it'll lead in the end and you're two steps ahead of me.
I whisper your name and your grip tightens around my hips. My hand is against your stomach, almost pushing, but you just flex those muscles and resist, telling me yet again that you won't give. I have my feet planted firm, ever the stubborn character, but you always know how to sweep me off my feet and make me stumble.
Though I'm dangerous and can turn on you in the blink of an eye, you know how to push me down, put me in my place, and make me cry out for mercy. You know how to make me feel like I need to be under you, trapped by your stare and your dominance, surrounded by your own vicious current. You're so much more dangerous than I am.
My feet slip, sending me crashing down. Though you're beneath me, somehow it feels as if you're on top, bearing down over me. It makes me weak and shudder, a gasp -- a ragged breath pushing through my lungs. I love the way it feels, to suddenly be resisted. Though it's dangerous, seeing that bulldozing snowball get stopped is always thrilling.
You do it to me every time, showing me just how capable you are of holding your own. And more.
As if we've switched places, you take me in, sucking me in and holding tight. But like a breath, you have to let go sometime and eventually it all flows out. As if we're holding our breaths together, holding each other in, we let it loose, releasing that tension that seizes our bodies and pulls us taut.
I shake and tremble, collapsing under the pressure of your power. It flows all throughout me, from the outside in, taking me over. I curl against your chest, your arms coming around me to blanket me in warmth. You whisper my name and I can't help but say yours back. There's something special about how we bask in each other's warmth despite how cruel we can be to each other at times.
You remain flowing inside me, lulling me down to the gentleness of a kitten. Though it's your chest that rumbles with breath, it's me who purrs and cuddles close. I'm hopeless. Against you, I can turn into mush so easily. No one can dominate me like you do. It's frightening sometimes, but I know I love it anyway. Because really, even though you can flip my world upside down, I still come out on top.
And you like me where I am.
originally created and finished 3 March 2009
Somehow, that's how I am with you.
We hit the bed. I fall against your chest, our hips rubbing against each other just so as I push up and look down at you. You're wearing that smirk of yours that you seem to have plastered on your face. Every time I see you it's there and I wonder if maybe you know something I don't. You probably do.
Your hands snake up my thighs, coming up behind me. Your fingers press into my cheeks, firm from weekly workouts, soft from too many chocolates and desserts. Or so you say. You stretch me out, settling me in your lap. My hands dance over your skin, snaking down your chest. I draw up just enough for you to pull me back down and spear me with that flame of yours.
My head whips back, my body bowing. A pathetic sound escapes my lips, tumbling into the air before I can stop it. I can hear you hiss as my nails dig into your skin, my muscles tense. We both wait for me to relax, for my body to accept you as it always has.
Like the first time, for a moment, it seems I'm about to reject you, instinct telling me to stop and pull back, to retreat from these feelings that are threatening to overwhelm me. But little by little, then more, and more, I take you in, sucking you in like a breath of air, holding you inside me as if I can't afford to let go.
And you, being you, you let me adjust and swallow you whole before letting you out, inch by inch, until you seem too far away and I just have you take you in again. You know I'm a terrible person, never consistent enough to give you some peace of mind. But I know you like it anyway. You always have. Otherwise, why would we be here today, right now, like this?
It's been three years but it seems more like three minutes, and so much has happened between us. I still wonder how you came to like me. And even more than that, I wonder how I ever deserved to have you.
We're so incompatible, or so our friends say, yet we proved them wrong, didn't we? Even though you're steady as a rock, unmoving, I'm fluid like water, always changing, so unpredictable. But see, I need you. You're the only one who can stop me and change the direction of my flow.
I shake my head. We're such a strange pair, you being as cool and controlled as you are, me being as dangerous and wild as I am. I'm fully capable of assaulting you, harming you, doing more than just sucking you in. I can bite you and bleed you and drain you dry of everything that makes you... you. You know this. But you take it with a smile, smirking at me always as if you already know what I'm doing, what I can do. As if you know where it'll lead in the end and you're two steps ahead of me.
I whisper your name and your grip tightens around my hips. My hand is against your stomach, almost pushing, but you just flex those muscles and resist, telling me yet again that you won't give. I have my feet planted firm, ever the stubborn character, but you always know how to sweep me off my feet and make me stumble.
Though I'm dangerous and can turn on you in the blink of an eye, you know how to push me down, put me in my place, and make me cry out for mercy. You know how to make me feel like I need to be under you, trapped by your stare and your dominance, surrounded by your own vicious current. You're so much more dangerous than I am.
My feet slip, sending me crashing down. Though you're beneath me, somehow it feels as if you're on top, bearing down over me. It makes me weak and shudder, a gasp -- a ragged breath pushing through my lungs. I love the way it feels, to suddenly be resisted. Though it's dangerous, seeing that bulldozing snowball get stopped is always thrilling.
You do it to me every time, showing me just how capable you are of holding your own. And more.
As if we've switched places, you take me in, sucking me in and holding tight. But like a breath, you have to let go sometime and eventually it all flows out. As if we're holding our breaths together, holding each other in, we let it loose, releasing that tension that seizes our bodies and pulls us taut.
I shake and tremble, collapsing under the pressure of your power. It flows all throughout me, from the outside in, taking me over. I curl against your chest, your arms coming around me to blanket me in warmth. You whisper my name and I can't help but say yours back. There's something special about how we bask in each other's warmth despite how cruel we can be to each other at times.
You remain flowing inside me, lulling me down to the gentleness of a kitten. Though it's your chest that rumbles with breath, it's me who purrs and cuddles close. I'm hopeless. Against you, I can turn into mush so easily. No one can dominate me like you do. It's frightening sometimes, but I know I love it anyway. Because really, even though you can flip my world upside down, I still come out on top.
And you like me where I am.
originally created and finished 3 March 2009
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