"James"
-x-
THE days have been blurring together... In and out, it was hard to keep things straight anymore. Was it numbness? Was I still in shock? Did I simply not want to process anything because of what happened? I couldn’t tell. Either way, it seemed like I was always tired. I was pretty sure I got enough hours of sleep because I would always knock out early and wake up later, but I guess it just wasn’t enough.
Looking at myself in the mirror did nothing but show me evidence of my fatigue. It was faint, but I could see the start of bruising under my eyes. Soon enough, they would become deep, dark circles. I’d look like some raccoon by the end of the month!
Running a hand through my hair, I finished getting dressed and joined Mike for brunch. He got a call this morning from the police office about the situation concerning my mom’s murder. They wanted me to come in and talk with them. I told Mike he didn’t need to come with me, so he opted for sharing breakfast with me.
Lately he’s been kind to me. I have a feeling it’s begrudging kindness because we weren’t really all that close to begin with, and the police pinned him with the task of keeping watch over me while some things got straightened out. He even took me out shopping for some new clothes and toiletries, paying for basically everything out of his own pocket.
I had a feeling if he hadn’t been charged with the task of taking care of me, he wouldn’t. But because he was, he was putting up with me and even smiling to keep face. I promised him that I would look for somewhere else to go once everything was settled. He argued with me about it, but it didn’t take long for him to concede. Sometimes I wondered why he even bothered. It wasn’t like he had to impress anyone. Certainly not my mom. Playing kind to me in front of my mother was his way of getting easy brownie points from her. Won her heart.
They really liked each other. Not that it really mattered anymore, I suppose... Just because I’m her son didn’t mean he had to extend his kindness towards me now that she’s gone.
Anyway, we ate breakfast and made idle chatter to help pass the time. The television was a good medium between us since it often gave us a topic to choose from. But once we were done eating and the television was off, up came the wall. This time was no different. After I was done, I put my dishes away in the sink to wash.
“Alright. See you later, Mike.”
He nodded, waving a fork at me. “See you later. You have the spare key I gave you, right?” He had given it to me this morning when I said I would go out alone. He thought it would be more convenient for me to have one just in case he wasn’t around when I came back. Especially since I didn’t have a phone on me, it was better if I was able to get back in the apartment than just linger around outside. Not to mention he didn’t have to keep track of me if I had my own way in and out.
“Yeah, I got it.” I flapped a hand and left, taking the stairs down. It felt really weird to be going down this way. I guess I still wasn’t used to coming here to this place, living here, walking this route. Maybe I missed home or something. Pushing my sunglasses down onto my nose, I made my way down the street to the bus stop. Along with clothes, Mike was nice enough to give me a bit of money for whenever I needed something. I had money on my own, but only so much as what my wallet had.
Though I couldn’t pick up anything else, the police were nice enough to hand me my wallet when I asked for it. I needed my ID and all my other cards. I could keep whatever money was inside, but as for getting more, if I had it stashed anywhere in the house, I wouldn’t have access to it. That whole place was taped off. I didn’t even have to go visit to know it was off limits.
And I’m not sure if I even would want to. After all, it was the scene of my mother’s death. And my dog too, for crying out loud. I guess I should at least be glad my dog tried to defend my mom before dying. I wish he didn’t have to die too though. God it was lonely.
When the bus came, I climbed aboard, paid the fare, and took an empty seat near the back. The ride over to the police station was an uneventful one. On the way I wondered what it was they wanted to talk about with me. Maybe it was about my mother’s murder. Maybe they got a clue. It was probably confidential; something they couldn’t tell over the phone.
I wasn’t really all that familiar with the way the police worked. Blue collars were all the same to me, really. Servants of the law, doing some thing or another to keep the city in order. Whatever it was they did, however they did it, someone had something to say to me and I had no clue what it was. I could only hope it was good news. If that was even possible.
We passed several blocks and on the way we crossed various stores along the street. I’d never really shopped on this side of town before, but I knew about it. I couldn’t remember where, but it almost felt like I’d walked passed by here before. Maybe during some other car ride a while back.
When we came near the bus stop, I pressed the button to signal I was getting off. As soon as we stopped I climbed out and made my way down the street to the station. I didn’t get into trouble often, and especially never when it came to the law. Though I knew reality was a lot different, because I had never seen it before now, I always carried this fantasy image of what the station actually looked like. I guess cartoons were to blame for that. Or books. My imagination was kinda weird at times.
Of course, looking at it now was a whole lot different than whatever my mind came up with. Kind of a disappointment, really.
I entered through the front doors and made my way to the front desk. I talked to the guy at the front desk about my appointment and he directed me down the hall. I didn’t remember where I was last time, but this definitely didn’t seem to be it. I got lost once or twice trying to figure out which hallway I was supposed to go down.
When I finally found the room, I gave a knock before opening the door. I poked my head inside to see if anyone was around and found that officer guy sitting at a table. He looked up at me and gestured me inside. “Come in, James.”
I entered and closed the door behind me. There was a chair across from him so I sat down. “So... what exactly am I...?”
He shook his head and shifted back. When he moved I saw his nametag. Johnson. “Let’s start with introductions first. We haven’t properly met, have we?”
I stared at him. Didn’t we meet before? Though I don’t recall us exchanging names exactly. “Uh, sure.”
“I figured we could take this a little easy so you don’t have to be nervous or tense about coming here.” He held out his hand at me. “I’m Officer Allen Johnson. You can call me Officer Johnson. If that makes you feel uncomfortable, just Allen is fine.”
It was awkward shaking his hand. “Uh, I’m James Young. Nice to meet you?”
He smiled at me before letting go, sitting back. He was kinda weird for a strict-faced looking guy. He wasn’t muscular or huge or anything like that, but there was something about his face and how he held himself that gave off a certain vibe about his character. I wasn’t sure where to place him.
“How are you doing so far? I bet you were very confused when you left here last time.”
“Um, yeah. Well, I just figured out my mom got murdered.”
“It must have been a big shock. You blacked out on us.”
I blinked, vaguely recalling that happening. It was hard to put some memories together sometimes. “Sorry about that,” I said automatically, still not sure what happened exactly between getting in the car and being ushered out of the station.
Allen shook his head as if to wave off the apology. “It’s to be expected. But there was something I wanted to talk about that we didn’t get to really touch on before.” He looked at me steadily. “James, you were wearing your underwear and a coat and not much else. I don’t believe it’s your hobby to go out in public flashing people, and you had some dirt and grime smudged on your skin. I need to know why you were in the condition.”
I stared back at him, face blank. I remembered how I woke up, almost completely naked, curled up in a strange place, looking like someone had played a prank on me and left me to fend for myself. I had no recollection of how I got there, or how I had even ended up in the condition I was in. It probably wasn’t a good idea to say any of this, but I knew lying would be worse. Even if I knew very little about how policemen worked, I did recognize that lying in before the law got a slap on the wrist or worst. Depending on the lie.
Slowly, I shook my head. “I don’t know,” I replied. “I don’t remember what happened. I just woke up that way. I accidentally met a classmate on my way home and he let me borrow his coat.”
Allen frowned, though it was hard to tell whether it was at me or what I said. Probably the latter. “Who is this classmate?”
“Uh, Connor. Connor Malinky.” I eyed Allen warily, wondering if he was going to interrogate Connor, but I didn’t see him write down his name. Either that meant he wasn’t, or Allen wanted to psyche me out by pretending the name wasn’t important enough to write down and remember when really he was going to do it anyway. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him Connor’s last name.
“And where did you meet Connor?”
I blinked. “At a convenience store.” I wracked my brain for the name of the place but couldn’t remember. “I don’t know what it’s called. I was trying to find a way home when we bumped into each other. He offered me a ride, so that’s how I got home and saw all you guys crowding the front lawn.”
Allen nodded. “And that’s how we met. Are you sure you can’t remember what happened before you woke up?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“What about beforehand? What were you doing?”
Frowning, I tried to think back to that night. “I remember I was coming home. I had gone out with a few friends to see a movie. We split up after that because I had to catch the late bus. After that... I was walking... and I had arrived at my house. I was about to go in... and then...” My frown deepened at the blank spot in my memory. Nothing was there. I couldn’t remember anything from that point on to when I woke up on the street. “...That’s it. That’s all I know.”
Allen stared at me silently. I didn’t know what was going through his head but I bet the things I said didn’t sound all that pleasing to his ears. Hell, they didn’t sound all that pleasing to my ears either. I sounded like a nutcase! But what else could I say? It was all the truth. I only hoped that Allen didn’t put me in a cell for the things I said.
“Were you hurt when you woke up? Did you have any injuries or wounds?”
I was quiet for a while, thinking. I remembered the crusts of blood and this aching all throughout my body. The aching part didn’t really kick in until I got to Mike’s place. I had a couple bruises along my abdomen. But open wounds like cuts or anything like that? None.
Now that I was really thinking about it, it made me very uneasy. My mother was murdered, Jasper was murdered, I was tossed like trash under a bridge... did someone attack me too? Knock me unconscious while they attacked my family? And why was I alive? Did they keep me alive on purpose, because they knew I wouldn’t remember? Or was it an accident?
I told Allen about the bruises, and asked him what it meant, but he didn’t give me a straight answer. “I can’t make any conclusions yet. We’ll have to gather more information and look at all the pieces as a whole. Maybe there’s a connection, maybe not. We’ll see.” It didn’t give me any confidence or security.
Allen left me alone after that to go grab some coffee. He offered to give me some but I declined. It wasn’t pretty, sitting with my thoughts on my own, knowing that I could’ve possibly been killed that night. It was by some miracle I was still alive.
When Allen returned, he gave me a cup of water even though I didn’t ask for anything. I didn’t complain, happy to have something to do with my hands. He didn’t press me for more answers, but I knew we weren’t done. He hadn’t officially dismissed me yet so there was probably more to go over.
“...Why do you think my mom was killed?” I asked after a long period of silence.
Allen shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe you could help me figure it out. Was there anyone who hated her?”
“No, not that I know of.” I didn’t keep track of my mother or who she associated with, but as far as I knew she didn’t have any enemies.
“Do you know what her work situation was like?” I shook my head again. “What about social? She’s been dating, hasn’t she?”
I grimaced a little at that. “Yeah. Mike’s her current boyfriend. Mom’s been through a number of guys.” I didn’t remember all their names, but I knew their faces. Some more than others, and not for good reasons. I hated that my mom had such poor choice in men.
Allen gave a thoughtful hum. “How was her relationship with Mr. Ainsley?”
“It was okay.” I shrugged. “They were like any new couple. Mike buttered her up a lot. Made her feel like a princess and all that. Sometimes they had arguments, but it was never anything serious as far as I could tell. Just typical stuff.”
“What about you and him?”
I shrugged again. “It was okay. Could’ve been better, I guess. Mike and I didn’t really talk much. He was more interested in her than me. Not that I blame him. I was totally fine with it.”
“Really? You two didn’t talk at all?” Allen looked a little surprised at this. I couldn’t imagine why, since Mike wasn’t exactly all that affectionate towards me.
“Well, it was hard to find a topic of conversation we were both into. I don’t think he hated me, we just never clicked.” I sipped at my water and played with the cup. Mike was someone I didn’t really care for. I’m not sure I should say I hated him, but I didn’t like him either. He was just... another person at my mother’s side. And generally speaking, I didn’t like anyone my mother dated.
“...Hey, do I still have to live with him?” I lifted my head to look at Allen. “I wasn’t sure if this was a regulation or an order or what, but...” I shrugged. “If I don’t have to, I’d rather live somewhere else and be able to go to school again.” I wasn’t saying this because I particularly liked school, but it gave me something to do rather than deal with Mike all day and night. I needed air. I needed space. I needed to stay occupied. And I couldn’t do that at home since it was blocked off as a crime scene, and I didn’t think I would want to return there after knowing that. And leeching off of Mike didn’t settle well with me either.
Allen looked at me a moment before shaking his head. “No, you don’t. Though I wouldn’t recommend it, I can’t force you to stay with him. You can live somewhere else so that you’re more comfortable, but I would suggest not leaving the city. If we need to contact you, it’d be better if you weren’t out of reach. If there’s a relative you can bunk with, go there. If not, and you need help finding a place to stay, we have a department that can get you started.”
“Okay,” was all I said in reply. As much as that sounded like a good and easy plan, I’d probably have to turn it down. Something in me wanted to look for a new home on my own.
After that, Allen talked with me a little bit about the progress of the search. In a nutshell, they were getting nowhere. This thing was turning into a cold case and if they didn’t come up with something in the next couple days, the case would have to be put on the back burner. It didn’t please me much to hear it, but at the same time, I wasn’t all that bummed out as I thought I would be. It was weird. Maybe it was that numbness thing.
Either way, there was nothing I could do so I just let it be. Allen let me go after that, and gave me his contact information in case I needed to talk to him. I left the police station then and made my way down the street. I was in no rush to return to Mike’s apartment when I had all this spare time, so I decided to wander a bit.
My feet took me nowhere in particular, the pace neither swift nor lazy. I really was just moving about without aim. Yet somehow, when I stopped, I found myself in front of an apartment complex. I stared down at a sign picketed in the lawn that said there were vacancies. I guess even though I wasn’t really thinking about it, the idea of picking out a new home was already ingrained in my body. Good job, feet.
I entered the lobby and asked about the sign. There was this whole big process of meeting the manager, looking at some possible paperwork I’d need to fill out and information I had to get together, and picking out a suitable place to live. I set the paperwork aside for the time being to favor perusing the vacant apartments for one I wouldn’t mind living in. There were about five to choose from, and three looked promising.
I left with a fairly good idea of what I wanted to do, but I had to keep in mind the cost of it all. Which meant money. Which meant I’d either have to borrow or get a job. Since I didn’t have access to any money but my own -- which wasn’t enough to pay rent and still leave enough in the bank to not leave me dirt poor -- I had to go get a job. But what.
A little miffed about all this stuff I still had to figure out and get together, I stayed out a little longer to grab a newspaper from the stand and have lunch at an open restaurant. I got myself a sandwich, chips and a drink and spread out the newspaper on the table. I started looking for job openings. If I had access to the car -- I couldn’t really touch anything that was at the house, even parked around it -- I wouldn’t have to worry about getting to and fro. I’d have to settle for the bus instead, or probably go get myself a bike. I’d probably have to utilize the bus for now.
I borrowed a pen from one of the waiters and scribbled on napkins as I made my plans and started narrowing down my choices. It wasn’t easy to say in the least. Simply finding something that might work was a challenge. Then I had to work out all the details of how to get there, the pay, the hours, yada yada. What a crapton of useless work.
I eventually went home sometime in the late afternoon after doing a bunch of research and calling. Though it was tedious now, once I had the foundation set, I could take the next step.
When I arrived at Mike’s place, I was greeted with an empty apartment. This didn’t bother me much. I just sat on the couch and continued working. I didn’t see Mike for another couple hours, and by then we shared dinner then went our separate ways. When night fell, I made myself sleep early so that I could hopefully make up for those mysterious lost hours.
I wished the extra hours of sleep actually did anything for my health, but it didn’t. My health didn’t get worse, but it didn’t get better. For the next couple days, I continued job hunting. It took me a while to finally get an interview scheduled, and as it turned out, it was just to some local restaurant that was short-handed. It wasn’t ideal to say in the least, but it was better than nothing.
As for rent and apartment, somehow after telling Mike I planned on heading out by the end of the week, he offered to pay for the first couple months of my rent. Gee, sweet guy right? Probably pulling face again. Why, I couldn’t imagine. Either way, I let him have the silly joy of giving me enough money to pay for the initial down payment of my rent.
I went back to that apartment complex that had caught my eye and walked with the manager again to pick out a place. There was this one apartment that had a decent view, and there was a tree nearby. If the birds didn’t annoy me in the morning, I figured they might be nice company.
There was a lot of paperwork to fill out and sign, showing my ID and all that junk. It took up a good chunk of the day, especially since I was doing it on my own and this was the first time I was filling this sort of stuff out. After that, I got a set of keys, a pat on the shoulder, and that was that. Now I just had to move what little of my belongings I had at Mike’s to this place. With that in mind, I returned to Mike’s to pack up and head out at last.
Looking at myself in the mirror did nothing but show me evidence of my fatigue. It was faint, but I could see the start of bruising under my eyes. Soon enough, they would become deep, dark circles. I’d look like some raccoon by the end of the month!
Running a hand through my hair, I finished getting dressed and joined Mike for brunch. He got a call this morning from the police office about the situation concerning my mom’s murder. They wanted me to come in and talk with them. I told Mike he didn’t need to come with me, so he opted for sharing breakfast with me.
Lately he’s been kind to me. I have a feeling it’s begrudging kindness because we weren’t really all that close to begin with, and the police pinned him with the task of keeping watch over me while some things got straightened out. He even took me out shopping for some new clothes and toiletries, paying for basically everything out of his own pocket.
I had a feeling if he hadn’t been charged with the task of taking care of me, he wouldn’t. But because he was, he was putting up with me and even smiling to keep face. I promised him that I would look for somewhere else to go once everything was settled. He argued with me about it, but it didn’t take long for him to concede. Sometimes I wondered why he even bothered. It wasn’t like he had to impress anyone. Certainly not my mom. Playing kind to me in front of my mother was his way of getting easy brownie points from her. Won her heart.
They really liked each other. Not that it really mattered anymore, I suppose... Just because I’m her son didn’t mean he had to extend his kindness towards me now that she’s gone.
Anyway, we ate breakfast and made idle chatter to help pass the time. The television was a good medium between us since it often gave us a topic to choose from. But once we were done eating and the television was off, up came the wall. This time was no different. After I was done, I put my dishes away in the sink to wash.
“Alright. See you later, Mike.”
He nodded, waving a fork at me. “See you later. You have the spare key I gave you, right?” He had given it to me this morning when I said I would go out alone. He thought it would be more convenient for me to have one just in case he wasn’t around when I came back. Especially since I didn’t have a phone on me, it was better if I was able to get back in the apartment than just linger around outside. Not to mention he didn’t have to keep track of me if I had my own way in and out.
“Yeah, I got it.” I flapped a hand and left, taking the stairs down. It felt really weird to be going down this way. I guess I still wasn’t used to coming here to this place, living here, walking this route. Maybe I missed home or something. Pushing my sunglasses down onto my nose, I made my way down the street to the bus stop. Along with clothes, Mike was nice enough to give me a bit of money for whenever I needed something. I had money on my own, but only so much as what my wallet had.
Though I couldn’t pick up anything else, the police were nice enough to hand me my wallet when I asked for it. I needed my ID and all my other cards. I could keep whatever money was inside, but as for getting more, if I had it stashed anywhere in the house, I wouldn’t have access to it. That whole place was taped off. I didn’t even have to go visit to know it was off limits.
And I’m not sure if I even would want to. After all, it was the scene of my mother’s death. And my dog too, for crying out loud. I guess I should at least be glad my dog tried to defend my mom before dying. I wish he didn’t have to die too though. God it was lonely.
When the bus came, I climbed aboard, paid the fare, and took an empty seat near the back. The ride over to the police station was an uneventful one. On the way I wondered what it was they wanted to talk about with me. Maybe it was about my mother’s murder. Maybe they got a clue. It was probably confidential; something they couldn’t tell over the phone.
I wasn’t really all that familiar with the way the police worked. Blue collars were all the same to me, really. Servants of the law, doing some thing or another to keep the city in order. Whatever it was they did, however they did it, someone had something to say to me and I had no clue what it was. I could only hope it was good news. If that was even possible.
We passed several blocks and on the way we crossed various stores along the street. I’d never really shopped on this side of town before, but I knew about it. I couldn’t remember where, but it almost felt like I’d walked passed by here before. Maybe during some other car ride a while back.
When we came near the bus stop, I pressed the button to signal I was getting off. As soon as we stopped I climbed out and made my way down the street to the station. I didn’t get into trouble often, and especially never when it came to the law. Though I knew reality was a lot different, because I had never seen it before now, I always carried this fantasy image of what the station actually looked like. I guess cartoons were to blame for that. Or books. My imagination was kinda weird at times.
Of course, looking at it now was a whole lot different than whatever my mind came up with. Kind of a disappointment, really.
I entered through the front doors and made my way to the front desk. I talked to the guy at the front desk about my appointment and he directed me down the hall. I didn’t remember where I was last time, but this definitely didn’t seem to be it. I got lost once or twice trying to figure out which hallway I was supposed to go down.
When I finally found the room, I gave a knock before opening the door. I poked my head inside to see if anyone was around and found that officer guy sitting at a table. He looked up at me and gestured me inside. “Come in, James.”
I entered and closed the door behind me. There was a chair across from him so I sat down. “So... what exactly am I...?”
He shook his head and shifted back. When he moved I saw his nametag. Johnson. “Let’s start with introductions first. We haven’t properly met, have we?”
I stared at him. Didn’t we meet before? Though I don’t recall us exchanging names exactly. “Uh, sure.”
“I figured we could take this a little easy so you don’t have to be nervous or tense about coming here.” He held out his hand at me. “I’m Officer Allen Johnson. You can call me Officer Johnson. If that makes you feel uncomfortable, just Allen is fine.”
It was awkward shaking his hand. “Uh, I’m James Young. Nice to meet you?”
He smiled at me before letting go, sitting back. He was kinda weird for a strict-faced looking guy. He wasn’t muscular or huge or anything like that, but there was something about his face and how he held himself that gave off a certain vibe about his character. I wasn’t sure where to place him.
“How are you doing so far? I bet you were very confused when you left here last time.”
“Um, yeah. Well, I just figured out my mom got murdered.”
“It must have been a big shock. You blacked out on us.”
I blinked, vaguely recalling that happening. It was hard to put some memories together sometimes. “Sorry about that,” I said automatically, still not sure what happened exactly between getting in the car and being ushered out of the station.
Allen shook his head as if to wave off the apology. “It’s to be expected. But there was something I wanted to talk about that we didn’t get to really touch on before.” He looked at me steadily. “James, you were wearing your underwear and a coat and not much else. I don’t believe it’s your hobby to go out in public flashing people, and you had some dirt and grime smudged on your skin. I need to know why you were in the condition.”
I stared back at him, face blank. I remembered how I woke up, almost completely naked, curled up in a strange place, looking like someone had played a prank on me and left me to fend for myself. I had no recollection of how I got there, or how I had even ended up in the condition I was in. It probably wasn’t a good idea to say any of this, but I knew lying would be worse. Even if I knew very little about how policemen worked, I did recognize that lying in before the law got a slap on the wrist or worst. Depending on the lie.
Slowly, I shook my head. “I don’t know,” I replied. “I don’t remember what happened. I just woke up that way. I accidentally met a classmate on my way home and he let me borrow his coat.”
Allen frowned, though it was hard to tell whether it was at me or what I said. Probably the latter. “Who is this classmate?”
“Uh, Connor. Connor Malinky.” I eyed Allen warily, wondering if he was going to interrogate Connor, but I didn’t see him write down his name. Either that meant he wasn’t, or Allen wanted to psyche me out by pretending the name wasn’t important enough to write down and remember when really he was going to do it anyway. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him Connor’s last name.
“And where did you meet Connor?”
I blinked. “At a convenience store.” I wracked my brain for the name of the place but couldn’t remember. “I don’t know what it’s called. I was trying to find a way home when we bumped into each other. He offered me a ride, so that’s how I got home and saw all you guys crowding the front lawn.”
Allen nodded. “And that’s how we met. Are you sure you can’t remember what happened before you woke up?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“What about beforehand? What were you doing?”
Frowning, I tried to think back to that night. “I remember I was coming home. I had gone out with a few friends to see a movie. We split up after that because I had to catch the late bus. After that... I was walking... and I had arrived at my house. I was about to go in... and then...” My frown deepened at the blank spot in my memory. Nothing was there. I couldn’t remember anything from that point on to when I woke up on the street. “...That’s it. That’s all I know.”
Allen stared at me silently. I didn’t know what was going through his head but I bet the things I said didn’t sound all that pleasing to his ears. Hell, they didn’t sound all that pleasing to my ears either. I sounded like a nutcase! But what else could I say? It was all the truth. I only hoped that Allen didn’t put me in a cell for the things I said.
“Were you hurt when you woke up? Did you have any injuries or wounds?”
I was quiet for a while, thinking. I remembered the crusts of blood and this aching all throughout my body. The aching part didn’t really kick in until I got to Mike’s place. I had a couple bruises along my abdomen. But open wounds like cuts or anything like that? None.
Now that I was really thinking about it, it made me very uneasy. My mother was murdered, Jasper was murdered, I was tossed like trash under a bridge... did someone attack me too? Knock me unconscious while they attacked my family? And why was I alive? Did they keep me alive on purpose, because they knew I wouldn’t remember? Or was it an accident?
I told Allen about the bruises, and asked him what it meant, but he didn’t give me a straight answer. “I can’t make any conclusions yet. We’ll have to gather more information and look at all the pieces as a whole. Maybe there’s a connection, maybe not. We’ll see.” It didn’t give me any confidence or security.
Allen left me alone after that to go grab some coffee. He offered to give me some but I declined. It wasn’t pretty, sitting with my thoughts on my own, knowing that I could’ve possibly been killed that night. It was by some miracle I was still alive.
When Allen returned, he gave me a cup of water even though I didn’t ask for anything. I didn’t complain, happy to have something to do with my hands. He didn’t press me for more answers, but I knew we weren’t done. He hadn’t officially dismissed me yet so there was probably more to go over.
“...Why do you think my mom was killed?” I asked after a long period of silence.
Allen shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe you could help me figure it out. Was there anyone who hated her?”
“No, not that I know of.” I didn’t keep track of my mother or who she associated with, but as far as I knew she didn’t have any enemies.
“Do you know what her work situation was like?” I shook my head again. “What about social? She’s been dating, hasn’t she?”
I grimaced a little at that. “Yeah. Mike’s her current boyfriend. Mom’s been through a number of guys.” I didn’t remember all their names, but I knew their faces. Some more than others, and not for good reasons. I hated that my mom had such poor choice in men.
Allen gave a thoughtful hum. “How was her relationship with Mr. Ainsley?”
“It was okay.” I shrugged. “They were like any new couple. Mike buttered her up a lot. Made her feel like a princess and all that. Sometimes they had arguments, but it was never anything serious as far as I could tell. Just typical stuff.”
“What about you and him?”
I shrugged again. “It was okay. Could’ve been better, I guess. Mike and I didn’t really talk much. He was more interested in her than me. Not that I blame him. I was totally fine with it.”
“Really? You two didn’t talk at all?” Allen looked a little surprised at this. I couldn’t imagine why, since Mike wasn’t exactly all that affectionate towards me.
“Well, it was hard to find a topic of conversation we were both into. I don’t think he hated me, we just never clicked.” I sipped at my water and played with the cup. Mike was someone I didn’t really care for. I’m not sure I should say I hated him, but I didn’t like him either. He was just... another person at my mother’s side. And generally speaking, I didn’t like anyone my mother dated.
“...Hey, do I still have to live with him?” I lifted my head to look at Allen. “I wasn’t sure if this was a regulation or an order or what, but...” I shrugged. “If I don’t have to, I’d rather live somewhere else and be able to go to school again.” I wasn’t saying this because I particularly liked school, but it gave me something to do rather than deal with Mike all day and night. I needed air. I needed space. I needed to stay occupied. And I couldn’t do that at home since it was blocked off as a crime scene, and I didn’t think I would want to return there after knowing that. And leeching off of Mike didn’t settle well with me either.
Allen looked at me a moment before shaking his head. “No, you don’t. Though I wouldn’t recommend it, I can’t force you to stay with him. You can live somewhere else so that you’re more comfortable, but I would suggest not leaving the city. If we need to contact you, it’d be better if you weren’t out of reach. If there’s a relative you can bunk with, go there. If not, and you need help finding a place to stay, we have a department that can get you started.”
“Okay,” was all I said in reply. As much as that sounded like a good and easy plan, I’d probably have to turn it down. Something in me wanted to look for a new home on my own.
After that, Allen talked with me a little bit about the progress of the search. In a nutshell, they were getting nowhere. This thing was turning into a cold case and if they didn’t come up with something in the next couple days, the case would have to be put on the back burner. It didn’t please me much to hear it, but at the same time, I wasn’t all that bummed out as I thought I would be. It was weird. Maybe it was that numbness thing.
Either way, there was nothing I could do so I just let it be. Allen let me go after that, and gave me his contact information in case I needed to talk to him. I left the police station then and made my way down the street. I was in no rush to return to Mike’s apartment when I had all this spare time, so I decided to wander a bit.
My feet took me nowhere in particular, the pace neither swift nor lazy. I really was just moving about without aim. Yet somehow, when I stopped, I found myself in front of an apartment complex. I stared down at a sign picketed in the lawn that said there were vacancies. I guess even though I wasn’t really thinking about it, the idea of picking out a new home was already ingrained in my body. Good job, feet.
I entered the lobby and asked about the sign. There was this whole big process of meeting the manager, looking at some possible paperwork I’d need to fill out and information I had to get together, and picking out a suitable place to live. I set the paperwork aside for the time being to favor perusing the vacant apartments for one I wouldn’t mind living in. There were about five to choose from, and three looked promising.
I left with a fairly good idea of what I wanted to do, but I had to keep in mind the cost of it all. Which meant money. Which meant I’d either have to borrow or get a job. Since I didn’t have access to any money but my own -- which wasn’t enough to pay rent and still leave enough in the bank to not leave me dirt poor -- I had to go get a job. But what.
A little miffed about all this stuff I still had to figure out and get together, I stayed out a little longer to grab a newspaper from the stand and have lunch at an open restaurant. I got myself a sandwich, chips and a drink and spread out the newspaper on the table. I started looking for job openings. If I had access to the car -- I couldn’t really touch anything that was at the house, even parked around it -- I wouldn’t have to worry about getting to and fro. I’d have to settle for the bus instead, or probably go get myself a bike. I’d probably have to utilize the bus for now.
I borrowed a pen from one of the waiters and scribbled on napkins as I made my plans and started narrowing down my choices. It wasn’t easy to say in the least. Simply finding something that might work was a challenge. Then I had to work out all the details of how to get there, the pay, the hours, yada yada. What a crapton of useless work.
I eventually went home sometime in the late afternoon after doing a bunch of research and calling. Though it was tedious now, once I had the foundation set, I could take the next step.
When I arrived at Mike’s place, I was greeted with an empty apartment. This didn’t bother me much. I just sat on the couch and continued working. I didn’t see Mike for another couple hours, and by then we shared dinner then went our separate ways. When night fell, I made myself sleep early so that I could hopefully make up for those mysterious lost hours.
I wished the extra hours of sleep actually did anything for my health, but it didn’t. My health didn’t get worse, but it didn’t get better. For the next couple days, I continued job hunting. It took me a while to finally get an interview scheduled, and as it turned out, it was just to some local restaurant that was short-handed. It wasn’t ideal to say in the least, but it was better than nothing.
As for rent and apartment, somehow after telling Mike I planned on heading out by the end of the week, he offered to pay for the first couple months of my rent. Gee, sweet guy right? Probably pulling face again. Why, I couldn’t imagine. Either way, I let him have the silly joy of giving me enough money to pay for the initial down payment of my rent.
I went back to that apartment complex that had caught my eye and walked with the manager again to pick out a place. There was this one apartment that had a decent view, and there was a tree nearby. If the birds didn’t annoy me in the morning, I figured they might be nice company.
There was a lot of paperwork to fill out and sign, showing my ID and all that junk. It took up a good chunk of the day, especially since I was doing it on my own and this was the first time I was filling this sort of stuff out. After that, I got a set of keys, a pat on the shoulder, and that was that. Now I just had to move what little of my belongings I had at Mike’s to this place. With that in mind, I returned to Mike’s to pack up and head out at last.
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