Blue Alert - 17

"Carl"

-x-

“Say it.”
“Because...”
“Say it.”
“Because we’re the same person.”
“You got it.”

My ears picked up the conversation before my brain could recognize what was being said. Opening my eyes, I came face to face with a magical speaking box with people in it. Two men, speaking with each other.

“All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not. ”

The words were loud, as if they filled the whole area. I looked around myself and saw myself in a familiar room. I felt someone next to me and turned my head to see it that Johnson man. Of course. Back again, was I? Back again, was he. Glancing down at myself, I saw that we had not returned to the shackles, but with such close proximity, there really was no need for them, was there?

I straightened up and sat against the back of the settee, my eyes trained on the magical box though my attention was on the man next to me. I was no less wary of him now as the day before, but his presence was something I was slowly getting used to. And so long as he held what I wanted, so long as I continued to wake in his presence, I was naught to do much else but cooperate.

“And what is it this time?”

“Who was it?”

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, arching a brow as I crossed my arms across my chest. “Who?”

“Who was the man who first threatened and assaulted you?”

I looked ahead again, the memory of that day rushing to the forefront of my mind like a stormy wave upon shore. I had long since held it back with walls and trenches, stopping and redirecting each wave as it came, hoping never to actually meet one upon my shores.

I was none too pleased with the idea of this pawn trying to break down the wall that had been built up. Snapping my gaze to him, I glared. “No,” was my immediate answer, my voice hard with finality.

“What happened?”

“No. I am telling you none of that. Ask me something else.”

He looked back at me, calm despite how venomously I looked at him. “You agreed to talk with me and answer my questions.”

“Some. But not all. And I didn’t really agree to this deal. I said I would consider it.”

“Then you don’t want your weapons back?” The way he rose his brows irritated me. He was challenging me, I knew. He wanted me to lash out. He wanted a reason to tie me down, I was certain of it. I knew I shouldn’t rise to meet his challenge, but it irritated me too much to stay silent.

“Of course I do,” I hissed. “But I will not speak of it.”

I could feel his gaze on me but I did not meet it. He was silent before finally saying, “Then at least tell me something. When I found you climbing up the tree, what were you doing?”

I slowly looked back at him. “Hunting.”

“With your knife.” When I nodded, he added, “Is that what you’ve been doing all this time?”

My lips pulled into a thin line. “Have you been spying on me for long?” I didn’t need his nod to know the answer. “Just like a good pawn... Yes, that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve been hunting all this time, doing what I deem as right.”

“And does what you deem right include midnight trips in the water and getting bitten by a dog?”

Brows raised, I scoffed. “A dog? What dog? You mean this?” I lifted my leg. “This was done by a hellion beast. And I’ll have you know that if it weren’t for your lot, if it weren’t for your spells and trinkets, I wouldn’t have to bother.”

Johnson stared at me with a studious expression on his face. “What exactly have you been doing on your hunts, Carl? Where do you go? Tell me what goes on.”

“Why should I?” I snorted, turning to face him. This was going on for too long. “I answer your questions and you promise to give me my blades back, yes? But how long will this go for? How do I know that you will keep to your promise? How can I possibly trust you not to tie me up and hand me over to others like yourself who might kill me?”

I never liked this game of answering question after question, but he had such an advantage over me that I couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps by cooperating I was doing myself more harm than good. Sure I might get my weapons back, but what were the chances I could fight him? And after having told him everything, how could I stop him from spreading this information to people who would throw me in a dungeon or hex me to death or just plain kill me?

I studied him carefully. Our gazes met and I didn’t enjoy the intensity of his eyes. If he were on my side, then yes, he could be a powerful asset, but he wasn’t. And that strength in him made me uneasy.

“If I gave you a reason to trust me, would you tell me everything?”

His words caught me off guard but I was no fool to believe them immediately. “And how do you plan on getting me to trust you?”

He didn’t reply right away, but then he stood up. Wary, I watched him go, disappearing where I couldn’t see him. A couple minutes passed before he came back and in his hand was unmistakably my blade. He sat by me again, facing me and held it up. “If you don’t stab me, I’ll let you have it back. Tell me everything and let me continue talking with you. When we’re done, I can give you the other one back as well.”

I hesitated, not sure if this was a ruse or if he was genuine about his offer. Staring at him, I waited, certain something would happen if I reached out now to take it. Slowly I lifted my hand to take the blade, ever watchful of his movements, but he didn’t move. He only tightened his grip when I came near, making me stop.

“Do you promise not to attack me and tell me what I want to know?”

I was silent before finally saying, “Fine. I will.” I reached the rest of the way, waiting only for him to loosen his grip before I took the blade from him. I was sorely tempted to go against my word and strike him then and there, but I decided against it.

He had given me my blade back. Granted, this was still blackmail, but he kept his word. In exchange for a few answers, he gave me my weapon. Perhaps there was reason to trust him after all. I still had my doubts, but I was more willing to give him a chance.

Looking down at the weapon in my hands, I turned it over, checked the blade, and sheathed it before setting it my lap. I felt more comfortable with its presence. It was as if I had been acquainted with an old friend again. A friend I could not lose or do without.

I sighed softly and settled against the furniture before turning my attention back to Johnson. “You really like that knife, don’t you?” he asked me. I nodded. I couldn’t deny it even if I wanted to. I would keep my word. “It’s that important to you?”

“Yes. There is no other weapon than this to slay evil. No other will do.” I held it up for him to see. “It is blessed, you see. By the Holy Mother. It protects me as well as delivers judgment upon the wicked. Those who are granted death by this blade will be dealt with by the Mother herself. She will set things right.”

I took out the blade from its sheath and turned it to let him see just by the handle where I had marked it. The symbol of Mary herself. “No innocent will fall from this blade.”

He leans in to look at the mark before turning his eyes on me. “And those you hunt are not innocent. Have you killed any of these wicked people yet?”

I leveled my gaze with his and held it for a long time. I excepted accusation in his tone but there was none. It was simply a question of interest, inquiring for an answer. I sheathed the blade before finally saying, “Yes. I have.”

He tensed at my reply; I could tell by the way his shoulders tightened. Was he upset? Or was it simply that unexpected of an answer? “How many?”

I silently counted. “Two.” And they would not be the last.

“How many more until you stop hunting?”

“As many as it takes. But...” I hesitated, glancing down at my blade. I gripped it tightly. I had never opened myself up like this before, let alone to a pawn. He might have been partially trustworthy, but I wasn’t sure if it was okay to say everything despite my vow to be honest. I could omit certain pieces of information, couldn’t I?

“But?”

“But... just one is enough.” When Johnson asked me why, I looked at him briefly and replied, “Because he is the one who started it all.”

With him gone, perhaps I could be satisfied. Maybe. I didn’t know for sure, and quite possibly I wouldn’t be; I might instead continue my hunt to eradicate the earth of all evil, but I didn’t know for sure. I wouldn’t know until I found him and struck him down.

“Is he the one you won’t tell me about?” There was no reason to answer this question, and I think even he knew it because he didn’t press for one. He just looked at me and I looked back, watching him think. I didn’t know what went on in that head of his, but if there was a reason to trust, perhaps there was a reason to hope. And hope that whatever he was thinking would make him see just what a wrong path he was currently treading.

“When will you tell me about him?”

My lips pulled into a line. “I don’t know,” was the best I could give him. I would rather not tell him anything at all, frankly. He probably knew that too; he didn’t demand for a definite date or time. Perhaps he wasn’t quite so stupid after all.

He stopped asking me questions after that. We spoke of nothing, merely turning to watch the animated box. I didn’t pay much attention to what was going on. The familiar tug came in the back of my skull. Johnson left me alone in the room just as I drifted off. I didn’t know if he would take my blade from me while I slept, so I kept it close to my chest. With any luck, he would not rob me of my one comfort after finally giving it back to me.

Blue Alert - 16

"James"

-x-

I didn’t want to wake up that morning. I felt comfortable lying there, rolled up like a piece of sushi under the blanket. Sure this thing was a couch, but when was the last time I slept on anything with a proper cushion? Turning over, I tightened the blanket around me to conserve the warmth. Who could possibly want to get up right now?

“James.”

I opened an eye at the sound of my name and saw Allen leaning over me. “Morning, Allen.”

“Good morning. How are you feeling?”

“I feel really good. I don’t want to move from this spot. Can I just steal this couch from you?” I was joking, of course. Sort of.

Allen chuckled and smiled down at me. “I’m glad you feel so at home here, but I can’t let you have my couch.”

“Damn. That’s too bad.” I stretched lazily and sat up. I was really reluctant to leave my warm spot, but I knew I had to get up eventually. “So how did it go? Last night, I mean.”

Allen looked at me quietly, something that I figured was simply a weird little habit of his, before he responded. “You didn’t go anywhere, and you didn’t do anything.”

“Really?” Seeing Allen nod, I wondered if he was really telling the truth or not. I never really expected him to lie, so I guess it was true. Nothing really happened. Was I lucky that I didn’t make a fool of myself last night? “Well, at least you didn’t have to tie me down this time,” I joked, feeling somewhat relieved that I didn’t cause Allen more trouble last night.

He furrowed his brows and sat on the arm of the couch. “I’m sorry about doing that.”

I looked up at him at the tone he used. “Huh? Whoa, don’t give me that look, Allen. I should be the one saying sorry. You did what you thought was right, right? And I’m the one making a mess of myself and causing you trouble even though you don’t have the time for all this crap.”

When he opened his mouth to interrupt, I bulldozed right through. “You’ve got a job to do, your own life to manage, and whatever else. Even if I wanted to repay you, I--”

“I don’t want you to repay me.”

“I know you don’t, but--”

“James.” The way he called my name made me stop. “Let’s leave this talk for later. Do you want breakfast?” At my nod, he smiled. “Alright.”

He got up and left me alone at the couch. Just like that, he had stopped the conversation and already I forgot what I was going to say to him. Shaking my head, I took up the usual morning routine before joining Allen for breakfast. He let me help him make it so that I could take the knowledge back to my own apartment, and we ate.

I couldn’t stick around Allen’s place all day since we both had work ahead of us, but he did tell me that he wanted me to come back afterward to spend another night. He had the next couple days off, so he wanted to spend some time with me. He didn’t tell me what we would be doing, but I had a feeling he had something planned, so long as I was willing and able to join him during it all. I had work the next day, but I had the day after off, so we could certainly pull something together.

Allen sent me home after that so he could go to work. I did stuff around the apartment, changed, showered, and all that other good stuff before heading to work. Nothing noteworthy happened during my shift, but I did try to get Mr. Tsong to cut my shift short tomorrow so I could spend more time with Allen and whatever he had planned.

Of course, to accommodate, I had to find someone to cover for me during those hours I was cutting out early, and promised to take equal portion of theirs in return. It wasn’t hard to do since there was always someone who didn’t want to work despite how much they wanted the money that came as reward.

Coming home, I still had some time to wait before Allen came home. I hadn’t had much planned during that time but somewhere between it all, I got a call from Connor.

“I haven’t heard from you in a while, man.”

“I know. Sorry, I’ve just been really busy lately. A lot’s been going on.”

“Yeah? Like what? Last we really talked you were telling me about this dude at your work. What was that about anyway?”

I hesitated. Martin. Remember him? I did. He wasn’t someone I really wanted to remember though. I was pretty through with people dying around me and weird stuff happening. I had enough trouble just keeping myself in order without having to wonder about the well-being of others.

“James?” Connor’s voice cut through my thoughts, I didn’t even realize I had drifted off.

“O-Oh, uh, well it’s nothing anymore. He was just kinda weird, that’s all.”

“Eh, happens all the time. Anyway, what’s up? What’s been going on?”

I told Connor about some of the things that had been going on. Work, stuff at home, having to take care of myself and all that other boring stuff. In turn, Connor told me about what was going on at school and our friends. Graduation was around the corner and technically I was still enrolled in school, but I hadn’t been there in so long I just had this running record of absences.

And apparently, one of the troublemakers in our grade level was just one mark away from getting expelled. He’d been through the wringer so much already it was amazing they hadn’t kicked him out yet. It was fun listening to Connor talk about everyone and what was going on. Fun, and lonely too.

I missed out on a lot. It was amazing how much could happen in so short of time. I couldn’t even count the weeks that had passed but it seemed like yesterday that this whole thing snowballed into action... and forever ago since I’ve last seen my friends. I still didn’t even do my own mother’s funeral yet.

There was so much still to do and not enough time to take care of it all. I had so much going on around me, I was surprised I hadn’t collapsed under the pressure yet. Yet. It was only a matter of time.

Connor and I talked about getting together in the next couple days and he proposed that we hang out at the mall or go to the park. And if that didn’t satisfy us, spend some time at his place and invite some of the others to join us.

Of course I agreed, but I told him that we had to schedule it after I spent some time with Allen. I didn’t want to cut into whatever the man had planned, so when we were done, I could be with Connor and the others without feeling bad.

Connor, the nosy bastard, had to ask me who Allen was. “Who’s this guy?”

“My neighbor, and a friend. He’s been helping me out a lot with settling in and a bunch of other stuff. He’s pretty cool. And he’s a cop. He’s fucking strong, man. We had an arm wrestling contest the other day and he beat me hands down. It was like trying to push a brick wall!”

Connor whistled on the other side of the line. “Shiiiiit. And you’re friends with this guy?” When I confirmed it, he laughed. “That’s pretty awesome. He’s not like one of those fat guys like in Mall Cop or anything like that, is he? I mean, he can’t be if he can kick your butt at arm wrestling, but he’s not those short fat types, right?”

It was my turn to laugh at him. Allen? Short? Fat? “Dude! Allen’s no donut chaser, believe me. I’ve never even seen a donut box in his apartment before. He’d never eat that stuff, he makes his own food anyhow.”

“Whoa, wait, you’ve been to his apartment?”

“Yeah. He invited me over this one time and ever since then I’ve been back to eat with him and chill out at his place.” I told Connor about the times that Allen and I got together and had dinner and talked. It was never anything too personal, though I did tell him a little about myself from time to time. “He’s pretty awesome, I swear. He’s really easy to talk to. Even if I have trouble saying some things, he just knows what I’m thinking and fills in the blanks. And he’s really smart too. I bet he could do a helluva lot better than as a cop if he wanted to.”

I could hear Connor making a thoughtful sound. “And you said this guy is single? He lives alone?”

“Hard to believe, right? I’ve looked for pictures but I’ve only seen his family. No girlfriends or exes or whatever.” Allen was just too amazing and great to be around that I’ve often wondered why the heck he didn’t have someone attached to his hip already. Where was the ring? Where were the promises? Why wasn’t he showing me pictures from his wallet about a little boy who looked just like “Daddy” and a sweet little princess who was the “apple of my eye”?

“Are you sure he’s not gay?”

That came out of nowhere. Sputtering, I couldn’t help laughing a little. Allen, gay? But then again... who was to say he wasn’t? My laugh faded at the thought. What if he was? I had considered it before, and as much as it might freak someone else out, I wasn’t bothered by gay people. If Allen was gay, well, then he was gay. Simple as that.

But... actually, now that I thought about it, maybe it wasn’t so simple after all. What if he was being this friendly to me because he liked me? I mean, liked liked me. Would that change anything? Maybe...

“Yo, James, are you still there?”

“Huh?”

“Earth to James! Dude, did you just have a gay fantasy right in the middle of a conversation?”

I coughed. “What? No! I didn’t just have a-- no!”

Connor laughed at me. “Don’t try to bull me, I know you did. I called you three times and you didn’t answer. I bet you were thinking about that cop guy just now.” When I tried to deny it, Connor snorted. “Yeah right. I know you, you can’t lie to me.”

I sighed. Leave it to Connor to poke at me in ways that made me want to crack my head against the wall. “Okay, fine! So what!”

“Well hey, if he swings that way too, you could bang each other.” I squawked. Connor was being way too blunt for his own good. “I’m just saying! I’m looking out for you, James. You’d be well off too, right?”

“Stop. planting. crazy. thoughts. in. my. head! I don’t need you to start giving my subconscious any stupid ideas, okay? Leave me alone.” I was exasperated. Connor was being no help at all. I didn’t need to start thinking about Allen that way. I had enough to deal with already, thanks. Romance, no matter how tempting, no matter how fucking awesome that would be, was not on the list.

“Alright, alright. I’ll let it go. Besides, my mom’s hollering at me so I gotta go. Are we still on about meeting up later?” I told him yes, there was no reason why we couldn’t still hang out, even if I did want to clock him right at this moment. If only phones were able to transmit actions as well as they did voices. “Awesome. Then I’ll see you later.”

I bid Connor farewell before hanging up. I was tempted to throw my phone out the window just out of pure frustration. Of course Connor had to leave me with that particular string of thoughts. Of course they just happened to be about Allen and hooking up and sex. Damn him.

Just because I didn’t mind stepping onto either side of the fence didn’t mean I was completely open about it. And that also definitely didn’t mean that I would go hopping after every tasty bit of manflesh I came across, least of all my maybe-or-maybe-not gay neighbor. I was a normal person, alright? Not every homo was a fairy or acted like one for that matter.

I struggled to settle my thoughts before Allen dropped me a message to tell me he had returned home. I felt awkward reading his message because my brain was still on the conversation I had with Connor, but I pushed it all down, feelings and thoughts and all, before they took over and made me into an idiot.

For both my own sake well as Allen’s, I waited a few minutes before going up to his apartment. No matter what Connor said, I wasn’t going to let his words influence me.

As usual, Allen met me at the door and invited me in. I joined him in the kitchen and helped him prepare dinner. At first it was hard not to think about the things Connor had suggested, but eventually Allen managed to distract me. With conversation of course.

“Since you’re working tomorrow, I was hoping you would come with me the next day to meet someone.”

“Meet someone?” I echoed. Who?”

“A friend.” Allen didn’t elaborate beyond that. Confused by the vague reply, I just looked at him for a while before leaving it at that. No point digging around for a beetle that didn’t want to be found.

“Alright...”

“I think you’ll like her.”

Her? Maybe he wasn’t gay after all. That was... kinda disappointing.

The rest of the evening passed with the two of us watching a movie in the living room. It was about this guy who had this other side to him that he wasn’t even aware was really him. He thought that all this time he was with a completely different person because they were so unlike each other. It was a really good movie. Had a bunch of guys getting the snot beat out of them in underground matches. I think I fell asleep in the middle of it because I didn’t remember getting to the ending. I wondered what happened to the guy...

Blue Alert - 15

"Carl"

-x-

“ARE you going to open your eyes or just continue lying there?”

Slowly I opened my eyes, glaring at the one who sat across from me. I had feigned sleep, keeping my eyes closed, but it seemed I couldn’t fool this one. Not this guard. I was not tied down this time, which meant I could run if I needed to, but he was too close to give me any space advantage.

I pushed the quilt from around me and sat up, turning to face him. I had no weapon on me, I had no advantage in the slightest. And I knew he was wary of me. As we stared at each other, I knew he was studying me. I had to be careful around him, and making a foolish choice would only prove catastrophic on my part.

“So? What do you want?”

“As I’ve said before, I just want to talk. I have some questions for you.”

“And I have no answers.” I snorted. This would be another waste of time.

“If you cooperate, I’m more inclined to let you go.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “That’s a lie. Only a babe and a fool would believe those words. I am neither. What reason could you possibly have for letting me go? It contradicts your duty.”

“This is for me and me alone.” I looked at him suspiciously. It didn’t make sense, why would he do such a thing? This was surely a ruse to make me lower my guard. “It’s your choice to believe me or not. The fact doesn’t change that I want to talk to you.”

My lips pulled into a thin line. I still didn’t trust him. “...Fine. Ask away. It will get you nowhere.”

“We’ll start from the beginning, then. You said you weren’t James. If that’s not your name, then who are you?”

I hesitated.

“Well? James had a middle name. Are you Scott?”

“No,” I snorted. I was irritated at the very mention of it. The witch called me that during her last hour. What a fool, to not even realize the truth. “I am no James nor Scott nor any other poor fool. I am Carl.”

“Carl?” Johnson’s brows rose slightly. “I see. Tell me, why do you have a hunting knife?”

“For hunting, of course. My blade is of great importance for survival.”

“Against what?”

“Not what, whom.” The man looked at me in question. I decided to humor him by elaborating, daring to risk the consequences. He was bound to ask me anyway. “Against the witch, her minions, and other such vile evils.”

“You never told me who this witch was.”

I shook my head. Though brutally strong, this guard was not all that intelligent if he kept forgetting who his own master was. “The witch, the witch! Who else could it be, fool? She is the one who tricked us both. She fooled everyone around us with her charm. You were there that day, weren’t you? You were at her lair with all those other sympathizers. That day we first met...”

I waited and watched as Johnson thought. I could tell he was searching his memory for the truth in my words. He would recall that day, I was certain. “You mean the morning your mother was killed?”

“She is not my mother,” I snapped, glaring at him. “How dare you insinuate such a thing.”

His brows rose high. “Then what is she? A witch? The witch?” At my nod, he continued, “Why is she a witch? I don’t understand.”

Clicking my tongue, I shook my head. “Of course you don’t. You’re under her spell. I will reeducate you.” I leaned forward, giving him a hard stare. “She is no human. She is a demon in disguise. She tricks other people with her sweet smiles and silly talks. She lures them in, casts her magic on them, and sometimes even lets her precious pets loose on the nearest victim for fun. Whoever happens to be close at hand.” My lips pulled into a thin line at the memory.

He gave me a long look, meeting my gaze. “...And who was close at hand?”

The muscles in my neck and shoulder tensed. My chest felt tight, stalling my breath. I didn’t say anything. I would not reveal that truth. That horror.

“Who were the... ‘pets’ she set loose on this victim?”

I took a moment to calm down enough to answer. “Random people she took in and made into lovers.”

“What exactly did they do?”

I looked at him blankly. “Made a toy out of the victim. Played their games. Told their lies. Had their fun...”

Johnson shook his head. “That’s too vague for me to figure out. Can’t you tell me in detail?”

“No.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He looked at me for a long moment, obviously thinking. I let him be, waiting for his next question. I wasn’t fond of this conversation and hoped he had nothing else to ask of me. I wouldn’t bet on such a wish coming true, though. I knew better. When he leaned forward, resting his elbows upon his knees, I was already listening. “How long has this been going on? You said something to me -- I’m certain it was you -- that you had been attacked for many years. What did you mean by that? You never answered me.”

I laughed dryly, and shook my head slowly. Only now he bothered to ask me such a question? Did he care or was he just curious about the answer? Well, it didn’t matter anyway, because I wouldn’t welcome his concern anyhow. It was too late for that.

“My eleventh spring.”

“What happened?” I shook my head at the question, saying nothing. I was humored by the exasperated look he wore. “You never told anyone?”

“Who would believe the words of a youngling?”

“Anyone would. You could’ve told another adult what was going on.”

I sighed and leaned back, smiling at him wryly. “Have you never been threatened as a young lad? Have you no sense of what it is like to having someone so much larger than you, breathing down your neck, demanding your cooperation or else something terrible will happen? You have no choice but to follow orders and let events take their course.”

I watched as his expression changed. I was pleased to know that I had made some effect on him. Though the poison was still coursing through his veins, I had planted the seed of a cure. It was too late, I knew, but at least now he understood his mistake.

“Are you done asking me questions now or must we continue?”

Johnson didn’t reply right away, but eventually he shook his head. “Just one thing. If I want to talk again, will you answer and tell me what I want to know?”

“...Maybe.”

“I won’t tie you up again so long as you don’t attack me. And I’ll consider giving your knives back if you indulge me.”

I studied him, frowning. I thought this was only a one-time deal. Apparently I was wrong. “I’ll think about it.”

The man got up. “Then I’ll leave you alone for now. Goodnight, Carl.” He left the area, leaving me on my own. I watched and waited, expecting him to come back, but he didn’t return. I looked around myself then and saw that he ha truly left me to my own devices; if I wanted to, I could run away.

I hesitated. Should I? I needed my blades. If I left now, I would just have to come back. And the only way I could get to them would be if he gave them to me. I knew not where they were, nor did I have entry to this place without dangerous climb on legs that couldn’t support the act. If I played by his rules, perhaps I could get him to empathize with me and give me my weapons. If I was lucky, maybe I could even use him.

It would take time, though. And I didn’t want to run the risk of him doing something rash and set me up for failure.

Slowly, I lied down. I would play his game. I would allow this side adventure to take place before I returned to my mission.