Blue Alert - 16

"James"

-x-

I didn’t want to wake up that morning. I felt comfortable lying there, rolled up like a piece of sushi under the blanket. Sure this thing was a couch, but when was the last time I slept on anything with a proper cushion? Turning over, I tightened the blanket around me to conserve the warmth. Who could possibly want to get up right now?

“James.”

I opened an eye at the sound of my name and saw Allen leaning over me. “Morning, Allen.”

“Good morning. How are you feeling?”

“I feel really good. I don’t want to move from this spot. Can I just steal this couch from you?” I was joking, of course. Sort of.

Allen chuckled and smiled down at me. “I’m glad you feel so at home here, but I can’t let you have my couch.”

“Damn. That’s too bad.” I stretched lazily and sat up. I was really reluctant to leave my warm spot, but I knew I had to get up eventually. “So how did it go? Last night, I mean.”

Allen looked at me quietly, something that I figured was simply a weird little habit of his, before he responded. “You didn’t go anywhere, and you didn’t do anything.”

“Really?” Seeing Allen nod, I wondered if he was really telling the truth or not. I never really expected him to lie, so I guess it was true. Nothing really happened. Was I lucky that I didn’t make a fool of myself last night? “Well, at least you didn’t have to tie me down this time,” I joked, feeling somewhat relieved that I didn’t cause Allen more trouble last night.

He furrowed his brows and sat on the arm of the couch. “I’m sorry about doing that.”

I looked up at him at the tone he used. “Huh? Whoa, don’t give me that look, Allen. I should be the one saying sorry. You did what you thought was right, right? And I’m the one making a mess of myself and causing you trouble even though you don’t have the time for all this crap.”

When he opened his mouth to interrupt, I bulldozed right through. “You’ve got a job to do, your own life to manage, and whatever else. Even if I wanted to repay you, I--”

“I don’t want you to repay me.”

“I know you don’t, but--”

“James.” The way he called my name made me stop. “Let’s leave this talk for later. Do you want breakfast?” At my nod, he smiled. “Alright.”

He got up and left me alone at the couch. Just like that, he had stopped the conversation and already I forgot what I was going to say to him. Shaking my head, I took up the usual morning routine before joining Allen for breakfast. He let me help him make it so that I could take the knowledge back to my own apartment, and we ate.

I couldn’t stick around Allen’s place all day since we both had work ahead of us, but he did tell me that he wanted me to come back afterward to spend another night. He had the next couple days off, so he wanted to spend some time with me. He didn’t tell me what we would be doing, but I had a feeling he had something planned, so long as I was willing and able to join him during it all. I had work the next day, but I had the day after off, so we could certainly pull something together.

Allen sent me home after that so he could go to work. I did stuff around the apartment, changed, showered, and all that other good stuff before heading to work. Nothing noteworthy happened during my shift, but I did try to get Mr. Tsong to cut my shift short tomorrow so I could spend more time with Allen and whatever he had planned.

Of course, to accommodate, I had to find someone to cover for me during those hours I was cutting out early, and promised to take equal portion of theirs in return. It wasn’t hard to do since there was always someone who didn’t want to work despite how much they wanted the money that came as reward.

Coming home, I still had some time to wait before Allen came home. I hadn’t had much planned during that time but somewhere between it all, I got a call from Connor.

“I haven’t heard from you in a while, man.”

“I know. Sorry, I’ve just been really busy lately. A lot’s been going on.”

“Yeah? Like what? Last we really talked you were telling me about this dude at your work. What was that about anyway?”

I hesitated. Martin. Remember him? I did. He wasn’t someone I really wanted to remember though. I was pretty through with people dying around me and weird stuff happening. I had enough trouble just keeping myself in order without having to wonder about the well-being of others.

“James?” Connor’s voice cut through my thoughts, I didn’t even realize I had drifted off.

“O-Oh, uh, well it’s nothing anymore. He was just kinda weird, that’s all.”

“Eh, happens all the time. Anyway, what’s up? What’s been going on?”

I told Connor about some of the things that had been going on. Work, stuff at home, having to take care of myself and all that other boring stuff. In turn, Connor told me about what was going on at school and our friends. Graduation was around the corner and technically I was still enrolled in school, but I hadn’t been there in so long I just had this running record of absences.

And apparently, one of the troublemakers in our grade level was just one mark away from getting expelled. He’d been through the wringer so much already it was amazing they hadn’t kicked him out yet. It was fun listening to Connor talk about everyone and what was going on. Fun, and lonely too.

I missed out on a lot. It was amazing how much could happen in so short of time. I couldn’t even count the weeks that had passed but it seemed like yesterday that this whole thing snowballed into action... and forever ago since I’ve last seen my friends. I still didn’t even do my own mother’s funeral yet.

There was so much still to do and not enough time to take care of it all. I had so much going on around me, I was surprised I hadn’t collapsed under the pressure yet. Yet. It was only a matter of time.

Connor and I talked about getting together in the next couple days and he proposed that we hang out at the mall or go to the park. And if that didn’t satisfy us, spend some time at his place and invite some of the others to join us.

Of course I agreed, but I told him that we had to schedule it after I spent some time with Allen. I didn’t want to cut into whatever the man had planned, so when we were done, I could be with Connor and the others without feeling bad.

Connor, the nosy bastard, had to ask me who Allen was. “Who’s this guy?”

“My neighbor, and a friend. He’s been helping me out a lot with settling in and a bunch of other stuff. He’s pretty cool. And he’s a cop. He’s fucking strong, man. We had an arm wrestling contest the other day and he beat me hands down. It was like trying to push a brick wall!”

Connor whistled on the other side of the line. “Shiiiiit. And you’re friends with this guy?” When I confirmed it, he laughed. “That’s pretty awesome. He’s not like one of those fat guys like in Mall Cop or anything like that, is he? I mean, he can’t be if he can kick your butt at arm wrestling, but he’s not those short fat types, right?”

It was my turn to laugh at him. Allen? Short? Fat? “Dude! Allen’s no donut chaser, believe me. I’ve never even seen a donut box in his apartment before. He’d never eat that stuff, he makes his own food anyhow.”

“Whoa, wait, you’ve been to his apartment?”

“Yeah. He invited me over this one time and ever since then I’ve been back to eat with him and chill out at his place.” I told Connor about the times that Allen and I got together and had dinner and talked. It was never anything too personal, though I did tell him a little about myself from time to time. “He’s pretty awesome, I swear. He’s really easy to talk to. Even if I have trouble saying some things, he just knows what I’m thinking and fills in the blanks. And he’s really smart too. I bet he could do a helluva lot better than as a cop if he wanted to.”

I could hear Connor making a thoughtful sound. “And you said this guy is single? He lives alone?”

“Hard to believe, right? I’ve looked for pictures but I’ve only seen his family. No girlfriends or exes or whatever.” Allen was just too amazing and great to be around that I’ve often wondered why the heck he didn’t have someone attached to his hip already. Where was the ring? Where were the promises? Why wasn’t he showing me pictures from his wallet about a little boy who looked just like “Daddy” and a sweet little princess who was the “apple of my eye”?

“Are you sure he’s not gay?”

That came out of nowhere. Sputtering, I couldn’t help laughing a little. Allen, gay? But then again... who was to say he wasn’t? My laugh faded at the thought. What if he was? I had considered it before, and as much as it might freak someone else out, I wasn’t bothered by gay people. If Allen was gay, well, then he was gay. Simple as that.

But... actually, now that I thought about it, maybe it wasn’t so simple after all. What if he was being this friendly to me because he liked me? I mean, liked liked me. Would that change anything? Maybe...

“Yo, James, are you still there?”

“Huh?”

“Earth to James! Dude, did you just have a gay fantasy right in the middle of a conversation?”

I coughed. “What? No! I didn’t just have a-- no!”

Connor laughed at me. “Don’t try to bull me, I know you did. I called you three times and you didn’t answer. I bet you were thinking about that cop guy just now.” When I tried to deny it, Connor snorted. “Yeah right. I know you, you can’t lie to me.”

I sighed. Leave it to Connor to poke at me in ways that made me want to crack my head against the wall. “Okay, fine! So what!”

“Well hey, if he swings that way too, you could bang each other.” I squawked. Connor was being way too blunt for his own good. “I’m just saying! I’m looking out for you, James. You’d be well off too, right?”

“Stop. planting. crazy. thoughts. in. my. head! I don’t need you to start giving my subconscious any stupid ideas, okay? Leave me alone.” I was exasperated. Connor was being no help at all. I didn’t need to start thinking about Allen that way. I had enough to deal with already, thanks. Romance, no matter how tempting, no matter how fucking awesome that would be, was not on the list.

“Alright, alright. I’ll let it go. Besides, my mom’s hollering at me so I gotta go. Are we still on about meeting up later?” I told him yes, there was no reason why we couldn’t still hang out, even if I did want to clock him right at this moment. If only phones were able to transmit actions as well as they did voices. “Awesome. Then I’ll see you later.”

I bid Connor farewell before hanging up. I was tempted to throw my phone out the window just out of pure frustration. Of course Connor had to leave me with that particular string of thoughts. Of course they just happened to be about Allen and hooking up and sex. Damn him.

Just because I didn’t mind stepping onto either side of the fence didn’t mean I was completely open about it. And that also definitely didn’t mean that I would go hopping after every tasty bit of manflesh I came across, least of all my maybe-or-maybe-not gay neighbor. I was a normal person, alright? Not every homo was a fairy or acted like one for that matter.

I struggled to settle my thoughts before Allen dropped me a message to tell me he had returned home. I felt awkward reading his message because my brain was still on the conversation I had with Connor, but I pushed it all down, feelings and thoughts and all, before they took over and made me into an idiot.

For both my own sake well as Allen’s, I waited a few minutes before going up to his apartment. No matter what Connor said, I wasn’t going to let his words influence me.

As usual, Allen met me at the door and invited me in. I joined him in the kitchen and helped him prepare dinner. At first it was hard not to think about the things Connor had suggested, but eventually Allen managed to distract me. With conversation of course.

“Since you’re working tomorrow, I was hoping you would come with me the next day to meet someone.”

“Meet someone?” I echoed. Who?”

“A friend.” Allen didn’t elaborate beyond that. Confused by the vague reply, I just looked at him for a while before leaving it at that. No point digging around for a beetle that didn’t want to be found.

“Alright...”

“I think you’ll like her.”

Her? Maybe he wasn’t gay after all. That was... kinda disappointing.

The rest of the evening passed with the two of us watching a movie in the living room. It was about this guy who had this other side to him that he wasn’t even aware was really him. He thought that all this time he was with a completely different person because they were so unlike each other. It was a really good movie. Had a bunch of guys getting the snot beat out of them in underground matches. I think I fell asleep in the middle of it because I didn’t remember getting to the ending. I wondered what happened to the guy...