Chapter 6
Morning came with the loud call of a bell at an unholy hour just before dawn. Halua was not at all inclined to rise with the rest of the temple and so ignored the sounds that rose up with the advocates and their morning routine.
He remained in bed until someone came knocking and announced that breakfast had been served. Since he was ordered to stay put, the food was brought to him on a tray. Halua watched as one of the temple servants or whatever they might be called came in and set it by the bed, well within reaching distance. The young man didn’t once look at him, and by the flush of his cheeks he seemed embarrassed to be in the same company.
Halua wondered how often the men here saw a woman. Granted, Halua wasn’t a woman to say in the least, but he looked like one. And this boy probably thought he was the most dazzling and foreign creature he’d ever laid eyes on. Halua didn’t know whether to feel flattered or just awkward.
Once the boy was gone and the sight of the food brought about his appetite, Halua sat up and ate by the bed. Temple food was not grand to say in the least, not in the way that palace food was, but he wasn’t bothered enough to complain about it.
Just as he was finishing up, the guard that had stayed behind with them came by. He updated Halua on Prina’s condition, a service that Halua hadn’t asked for but greatly appreciated. He also informed him that later that day, Prince Reshar would be arriving.
Halua felt uneasy at this news. Mern came to visit him a little later to confront him about the Prince’s arrival. “You will have to be dressed and ready to receive the Prince when he arrives. Since Prina is not available, I will lay out your clothes. I am not familiar with how they must be put on, but I will assist you as much as I can.”
Halua nodded and got up. Mern forbade entry into the room and took out Halua’s robes. Halua told the man he would manage himself for the time being and was left alone to freshen up and dress into his robes. He had to rely on memory and slip into the layers as he remembered them, tying ribbons and sashes as they appeared.
He was surprised these clothes had managed to escape damage during the attack. Such hard work had been put into making it, he didn’t want it all to be wasted because some rogues wanted to steal it for themselves.
Halua managed to put on the layers by himself, from slip to dress to formal robe and outer sash. The sleeves were wide and the bodice did well to disguise his chest while the folds of the skirt hid that male part of him below the waist. He did not think it possible for clothes to be anything more than clothes, but he was surprised and grateful. These robes were like a shield, protecting him.
Mern was called back in to help him with his hair. Halua couldn’t remember the ways Prina had fixed it before, and couldn’t help to replicate it. Mern, likewise, was little help, but he fastened a simple clip in his hair. They hoped it would be enough and Prince Reshar wouldn’t care too much about the lack of finesse in his ensemble.
Once he was done, all accessories in place, Halua was given time to collect himself and wait for Reshar’s arrival. Halua grew nervous with each passing minute and the fact he still wasn’t allowed to walk made it worse.
Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore and forced himself to his feet. He slipped out of the room as he had done before and snuck his way out to the porch. He made it halfway before the guard found him. Halua quickly pressed a finger to his lips and quietly asked him to bring him out to the porch.
The guard looked dubious but did as he was requested, carrying him out to the porch so he could sit there as he had done before. “Only get me if he has arrived,” Halua told the man, abusing his princess rights to have some time alone. The guard nodded and let him be.
Halua sat upon the porch and stared up at the trees. He felt conflicted about this, worried about the outcome. He hoped that Reshar would like him, but at the same time he hoped the man wouldn’t be so interested in him to want intercourse. He needed to gain some degree of affection from the man to ensure their bonding, but not so much that it would lead to events that would cause trouble in the end. It was a dangerous, careful game of deceit he would have to play.
The sound of footsteps called his attention. Reminded of how Banthus had come just the same way, Halua felt a flicker of eagerness inside him. The man, though he was a stranger, provided comfort. He could also provide a distraction with his stories. Halua turned to see if it was him, hoping it would be.
To his surprise, and disappointment, it was not. In fact, he didn’t know the face of the man who appeared around the corner. He was not Banthus or Mern, or even the guard whose name he didn’t know. He didn’t even look like he belonged to the temple.
The man wore a dark blue uniform that was spoke of military prowess. His hair reminded Halua of the setting sun, brilliantly bright, though most of the man’s locks were hidden beneath a stiff cap. As pale hued eyes met his, Halua tensed slightly. He watched with unblinking eyes as the man came toward him.
“I was told you would be here.”
“I had asked for solitude while I waited for an important guest’s arrival.”
“Am I important enough to interrupt your solitude, Princess?”
Halua looked at him carefully, a soft frown at the corner of his lips. Who was this man? “That depends on who I’m speaking to.”
The man cocked a brow. “You are speaking to your future husband.”
Shock laced through Halua. This was Prince Reshar? His betrothed? Halua had heard little of what Reshar looked like, or what he acted like, and now that he came to meet him face to face, he understood that even if he had heard anything, no rumors could match up to reality.
He had a stiff posture and his clothes were neat. The way he looked at Halua now made him believe that he was a man of order and he was not used to being talked back to, least of all by a woman.
Forcing himself to his feet, Halua bowed respectfully to the man. “My sincere apologies. I had not known.” When he straightened up, he became painfully aware that Reshar was a tall man, and such height did little less than tell Halua how much lower he was than the other.
Reshar gestured dismissively. “I have heard of your condition. It is no wonder that you do not even know my face.” His gaze flickered to Halua’s bandaged feet as they peeked out from under the edge of the skirt. “What happened there?”
Following Reshar’s gaze, Halua looked down at the bandages. He moved to sit on the porch again, reminded of the pain there. “Bandits, or some other rogues, had attacked the carriage. Two men chased me through the forest. I gained these injuries along the way.”
Reshar’s brow rose. “Did you not have guards to protect you?”
“I did, but they were... preoccupied. They could not come to my aid right away.”
Reshar snorted, as if he was displeased by the performance of Captain Nettika and his men. Though whether or not that displeasure was because he didn’t enjoy the thought of Halua being injured, or because his pride as a solider wouldn’t let him accept it, Halua didn’t know.
“Has there been any other attacks since then?” Halua shook his head, to which Reshar gave a pensive look. It seemed that he was thinking over something serious, though he didn’t care to share Halua with his thoughts. Apparently Reshar didn’t think it necessary to do so.
“Have you been informed of what we are to do henceforth?” Reshar asked, changing subjects.
Halua shook his head again. “Once it has been confirmed that our families will join, I am to follow your customs in engagement.”
The prince’s lips pressed into a line. “How simple and convenient.”
Halua curled his hands in his lap, watching the man’s face. No matter how he looked at it, Reshar seemed to detest the idea of their getting married. Was it the method? Was it the responsibility? Was he displeased that he would have to teach Halua the way they go about a noble engagement?
“Are you displeased?” he asked, unable to keep quiet on the matter. “Does the thought of being engaged to me upset you?”
Reshar had a detached look in his eyes. “It was not my intention to be wed at all. My life is with my men on the battlefield.”
His hands curled tighter in his lap, nails biting into his palm. “And you would not care to have something, someone to return to? Worth fighting for?”
“My country is worthy enough.”
“Not a wife, not even a son?”
Reshar turned to face him fully. His height, already overwhelming whilst standing, overshadowed Halua who sat upon the porch. “I will be honest with you, Princess. I have no interest in taking you to bed.”
Halua felt a mix of relief and indignation at these words. Reshar would not force him into intercourse. But that also meant he had little interest in him at all. Despite being an effeminate creature, he had not appealed to Reshar in the slightest. “Why is that?” he dared to ask, careful to keep his tone neutral though his emotions were anything but.
“I have no interest in taking a woman. Other than bearing an heir and caring for the estate while I am away, they have little use.”
“You would call a woman useless? How?”
“As I have said, my life is on the battlefield. Even when we are not at war, I prepare. Defenses must be strengthened, soldiers must be kept in top shape, ready for battle. When I am not on the field, I will be exchanging words with diplomatic intent. Ruling in my father’s place when the time is to come. A woman has no place on the battlefield. She tends to child and to garden, and takes rides as she pleases. She holds no weight in politics either, a mere accessory in the room whose only purpose is to exchange gossip.”
Halua bristled at the man’s words. He was not a woman by birth, but his mother had taught him what it meant to be one. He had heard these words before, though they were of kinder sense. Hearing them again with such a harsh tone made him angry. Women were nothing but pawns, were they? And he had accepted the role to become one himself.
Lips pulled into a tight line, Halua had thought to fight with Reshar with his own bitter words, but he forced himself to hold back. Carefully, painfully schooling his expression, he leveled his gaze with the prince who had suddenly made his blood hot. “All these things you enjoy and value, Prince, are indeed things a woman cannot partake in. However, keep in mind that it is by a woman that allowed you to enjoy and value in the first place. Without a woman, you would not be here now.”
He stood up and, using the support beam as aid, climbed upon the porch. He gave Reshar a single glance over his shoulder before turning away and making his way around the side of the house. Ignoring the pain that spiked in the bottom of his feet, he stormed to his room and shut himself in.
It wasn’t until he sat upon the bed and finally let the pain register that he realized what a fool he was. He had argued with his betrothed, rose himself higher than him, and walked out without so much as a bow. He had been told, no matter what, he was to consider himself less than his husband. He was to follow his word and be his pillar. He was to win him over softly, sweetly. And yet, he had thrown dirt in his face and probably made the man even more displeased with him than he already was.
What a fool, what a sound idiot he was. If he did not apologize to Reshar, did not win his approval, then the engagement could be called off. If Reshar returned to his land and told his father they would not be getting married, the lord might not aid in the war.
Covering a hand to his face, Halua muttered a curse.
He remained in bed until someone came knocking and announced that breakfast had been served. Since he was ordered to stay put, the food was brought to him on a tray. Halua watched as one of the temple servants or whatever they might be called came in and set it by the bed, well within reaching distance. The young man didn’t once look at him, and by the flush of his cheeks he seemed embarrassed to be in the same company.
Halua wondered how often the men here saw a woman. Granted, Halua wasn’t a woman to say in the least, but he looked like one. And this boy probably thought he was the most dazzling and foreign creature he’d ever laid eyes on. Halua didn’t know whether to feel flattered or just awkward.
Once the boy was gone and the sight of the food brought about his appetite, Halua sat up and ate by the bed. Temple food was not grand to say in the least, not in the way that palace food was, but he wasn’t bothered enough to complain about it.
Just as he was finishing up, the guard that had stayed behind with them came by. He updated Halua on Prina’s condition, a service that Halua hadn’t asked for but greatly appreciated. He also informed him that later that day, Prince Reshar would be arriving.
Halua felt uneasy at this news. Mern came to visit him a little later to confront him about the Prince’s arrival. “You will have to be dressed and ready to receive the Prince when he arrives. Since Prina is not available, I will lay out your clothes. I am not familiar with how they must be put on, but I will assist you as much as I can.”
Halua nodded and got up. Mern forbade entry into the room and took out Halua’s robes. Halua told the man he would manage himself for the time being and was left alone to freshen up and dress into his robes. He had to rely on memory and slip into the layers as he remembered them, tying ribbons and sashes as they appeared.
He was surprised these clothes had managed to escape damage during the attack. Such hard work had been put into making it, he didn’t want it all to be wasted because some rogues wanted to steal it for themselves.
Halua managed to put on the layers by himself, from slip to dress to formal robe and outer sash. The sleeves were wide and the bodice did well to disguise his chest while the folds of the skirt hid that male part of him below the waist. He did not think it possible for clothes to be anything more than clothes, but he was surprised and grateful. These robes were like a shield, protecting him.
Mern was called back in to help him with his hair. Halua couldn’t remember the ways Prina had fixed it before, and couldn’t help to replicate it. Mern, likewise, was little help, but he fastened a simple clip in his hair. They hoped it would be enough and Prince Reshar wouldn’t care too much about the lack of finesse in his ensemble.
Once he was done, all accessories in place, Halua was given time to collect himself and wait for Reshar’s arrival. Halua grew nervous with each passing minute and the fact he still wasn’t allowed to walk made it worse.
Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore and forced himself to his feet. He slipped out of the room as he had done before and snuck his way out to the porch. He made it halfway before the guard found him. Halua quickly pressed a finger to his lips and quietly asked him to bring him out to the porch.
The guard looked dubious but did as he was requested, carrying him out to the porch so he could sit there as he had done before. “Only get me if he has arrived,” Halua told the man, abusing his princess rights to have some time alone. The guard nodded and let him be.
Halua sat upon the porch and stared up at the trees. He felt conflicted about this, worried about the outcome. He hoped that Reshar would like him, but at the same time he hoped the man wouldn’t be so interested in him to want intercourse. He needed to gain some degree of affection from the man to ensure their bonding, but not so much that it would lead to events that would cause trouble in the end. It was a dangerous, careful game of deceit he would have to play.
The sound of footsteps called his attention. Reminded of how Banthus had come just the same way, Halua felt a flicker of eagerness inside him. The man, though he was a stranger, provided comfort. He could also provide a distraction with his stories. Halua turned to see if it was him, hoping it would be.
To his surprise, and disappointment, it was not. In fact, he didn’t know the face of the man who appeared around the corner. He was not Banthus or Mern, or even the guard whose name he didn’t know. He didn’t even look like he belonged to the temple.
The man wore a dark blue uniform that was spoke of military prowess. His hair reminded Halua of the setting sun, brilliantly bright, though most of the man’s locks were hidden beneath a stiff cap. As pale hued eyes met his, Halua tensed slightly. He watched with unblinking eyes as the man came toward him.
“I was told you would be here.”
“I had asked for solitude while I waited for an important guest’s arrival.”
“Am I important enough to interrupt your solitude, Princess?”
Halua looked at him carefully, a soft frown at the corner of his lips. Who was this man? “That depends on who I’m speaking to.”
The man cocked a brow. “You are speaking to your future husband.”
Shock laced through Halua. This was Prince Reshar? His betrothed? Halua had heard little of what Reshar looked like, or what he acted like, and now that he came to meet him face to face, he understood that even if he had heard anything, no rumors could match up to reality.
He had a stiff posture and his clothes were neat. The way he looked at Halua now made him believe that he was a man of order and he was not used to being talked back to, least of all by a woman.
Forcing himself to his feet, Halua bowed respectfully to the man. “My sincere apologies. I had not known.” When he straightened up, he became painfully aware that Reshar was a tall man, and such height did little less than tell Halua how much lower he was than the other.
Reshar gestured dismissively. “I have heard of your condition. It is no wonder that you do not even know my face.” His gaze flickered to Halua’s bandaged feet as they peeked out from under the edge of the skirt. “What happened there?”
Following Reshar’s gaze, Halua looked down at the bandages. He moved to sit on the porch again, reminded of the pain there. “Bandits, or some other rogues, had attacked the carriage. Two men chased me through the forest. I gained these injuries along the way.”
Reshar’s brow rose. “Did you not have guards to protect you?”
“I did, but they were... preoccupied. They could not come to my aid right away.”
Reshar snorted, as if he was displeased by the performance of Captain Nettika and his men. Though whether or not that displeasure was because he didn’t enjoy the thought of Halua being injured, or because his pride as a solider wouldn’t let him accept it, Halua didn’t know.
“Has there been any other attacks since then?” Halua shook his head, to which Reshar gave a pensive look. It seemed that he was thinking over something serious, though he didn’t care to share Halua with his thoughts. Apparently Reshar didn’t think it necessary to do so.
“Have you been informed of what we are to do henceforth?” Reshar asked, changing subjects.
Halua shook his head again. “Once it has been confirmed that our families will join, I am to follow your customs in engagement.”
The prince’s lips pressed into a line. “How simple and convenient.”
Halua curled his hands in his lap, watching the man’s face. No matter how he looked at it, Reshar seemed to detest the idea of their getting married. Was it the method? Was it the responsibility? Was he displeased that he would have to teach Halua the way they go about a noble engagement?
“Are you displeased?” he asked, unable to keep quiet on the matter. “Does the thought of being engaged to me upset you?”
Reshar had a detached look in his eyes. “It was not my intention to be wed at all. My life is with my men on the battlefield.”
His hands curled tighter in his lap, nails biting into his palm. “And you would not care to have something, someone to return to? Worth fighting for?”
“My country is worthy enough.”
“Not a wife, not even a son?”
Reshar turned to face him fully. His height, already overwhelming whilst standing, overshadowed Halua who sat upon the porch. “I will be honest with you, Princess. I have no interest in taking you to bed.”
Halua felt a mix of relief and indignation at these words. Reshar would not force him into intercourse. But that also meant he had little interest in him at all. Despite being an effeminate creature, he had not appealed to Reshar in the slightest. “Why is that?” he dared to ask, careful to keep his tone neutral though his emotions were anything but.
“I have no interest in taking a woman. Other than bearing an heir and caring for the estate while I am away, they have little use.”
“You would call a woman useless? How?”
“As I have said, my life is on the battlefield. Even when we are not at war, I prepare. Defenses must be strengthened, soldiers must be kept in top shape, ready for battle. When I am not on the field, I will be exchanging words with diplomatic intent. Ruling in my father’s place when the time is to come. A woman has no place on the battlefield. She tends to child and to garden, and takes rides as she pleases. She holds no weight in politics either, a mere accessory in the room whose only purpose is to exchange gossip.”
Halua bristled at the man’s words. He was not a woman by birth, but his mother had taught him what it meant to be one. He had heard these words before, though they were of kinder sense. Hearing them again with such a harsh tone made him angry. Women were nothing but pawns, were they? And he had accepted the role to become one himself.
Lips pulled into a tight line, Halua had thought to fight with Reshar with his own bitter words, but he forced himself to hold back. Carefully, painfully schooling his expression, he leveled his gaze with the prince who had suddenly made his blood hot. “All these things you enjoy and value, Prince, are indeed things a woman cannot partake in. However, keep in mind that it is by a woman that allowed you to enjoy and value in the first place. Without a woman, you would not be here now.”
He stood up and, using the support beam as aid, climbed upon the porch. He gave Reshar a single glance over his shoulder before turning away and making his way around the side of the house. Ignoring the pain that spiked in the bottom of his feet, he stormed to his room and shut himself in.
It wasn’t until he sat upon the bed and finally let the pain register that he realized what a fool he was. He had argued with his betrothed, rose himself higher than him, and walked out without so much as a bow. He had been told, no matter what, he was to consider himself less than his husband. He was to follow his word and be his pillar. He was to win him over softly, sweetly. And yet, he had thrown dirt in his face and probably made the man even more displeased with him than he already was.
What a fool, what a sound idiot he was. If he did not apologize to Reshar, did not win his approval, then the engagement could be called off. If Reshar returned to his land and told his father they would not be getting married, the lord might not aid in the war.
Covering a hand to his face, Halua muttered a curse.
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