Marked by Honor - 2

Chapter 2

A young woman came to their door in company of Mern. The man introduced her as Prina and explained that she was mute. Even if she heard or saw something she wasn’t supposed to, she wouldn’t be able to say anything. She was also too uneducated to write, which made her perfect for keeping secret the truth about Halua’s identity.

After the details of the job had been cemented in the woman’s mind and Mern left, Prina along with Hila aided Halua in turning him into a proper daughter of the family. They started with his basic appearance and cared for the calluses on his hands and feet, tended to his nails, and trimmed and treated his hair. 

Halua, despite being male at birth, had hair that trailed past his shoulders and down his back. He always kept it tied back, in the traditional style of his mother's family. Perhaps it was partially Hila’s fault for insisting the boy keep it grown out that he looked so deceivingly effeminate. 

The women fashioned it into an appropriate maiden’s style, high on his head. Since he was to be wed, various ornaments and beads were woven in the locks to accent his looks and attract the eye of his betrothed. Several strands even hung loose to taunt and tease a man to look toward the slope of his neck and dare him to put his lips there.

It was easy to put him in a dress, apply makeup, and put up his hair. The harder task came with the other fine details that were so obviously not of feminine quality: the hair on his legs, his pits, and the fuzz on his chin; the lack of piercing in his ears; his voice; his mannerisms; his movements. All this would take time and precious care. 

They started with the less laborious tasks and took Halua aside to deal with the more immediately fixable problems. The body hair. Halua had never experienced more pain in a single session in his life. It was torture to lie there and let his hair be ripped out with sheets of wax. Everywhere possible, the two women took strips of wax and ripped out his hair. Even in places he’d never thought possible, they ripped it all out. 

Halua felt exhausted just from holding back his own voice, more than once tempted to scream. It embarrassed him greatly to have to be subject to this procedure, especially with his mother and a stranger at the helm. Women, he quickly understood, went through great, great pains just to keep appearances. Such torture made him more miserable about the life he was now going to lead. 

Clutching tightly at the edges of the divan, he clenched his teeth as they plucked out any strays. He could not have been more relieved when at last they stopped and applied ointment to help soothe the sting. Only then did they leave him alone to recover. 

Halua looked at himself in the mirror, naked and hairless. Oh how he hurt. He half wondered if it would be better if he never became his father’s son since he felt like he had lost all ounce of masculinity in his body. He didn’t even know if the part between his legs was still functional after all that. 

At least his mother took pity on him and let him eat his dinner in privacy. He had trouble sitting and was in no mood to put on clothes, so he supped in the nude. It was also in this state that he went to bed that night, after Hila had given him a text to read. 

Though exhausted, he woke the next day at an early hour. He had want to pick up his usual routine, but as soon as he caught eye of his naked body under the sheets, and the work that it had undergone, he was reminded of the new life he was to lead. After dressing, he joined his mother downstairs where she and Prina were in the kitchen. 

A woman of his status, or what would be his status, had no business in the kitchen making food, but his mother explained that it was necessary for him to learn the arts so that he could judge when a servant did a foul job, and know immediately if something was amiss with the dish. 

A man might not know how to spot poison or a dangerous ingredient because he always expected someone else to test it for him. However, sometimes even the most trained servants could miss the most dangerous and discrete of potions. Since Halua was entering into a dangerous contract, Hila felt it necessary for him to know how to protect himself. Though the marriage would be done quietly, that did not mean the Immiqi could not catch wind of their plans. If they did, the possibility of Halua being killed was high.

Together they made their first meal of the day before moving to the study. There were few texts available to properly teach Halua how to be a woman, least of all a noble, so it was orally that Hila taught him the basics. Halua might have known the proper ways for a man to sit or stand, talk or walk, gesture or stare, but such skills were different for a woman. 

A woman did not look in the eye of a man of greater status than her husband. She folded her legs and placed her hands in a certain manner when she sat. She stood with a posture that carefully juxtaposed her humble nature with the power of her husband. She walked with grace and her hands and arms had to move in a specific rhythm. She held her head high, but no higher than her husband’s, and no higher than a man whose status was higher than her husband’s. She spoke lightly and calmly, and carefully chose her words. 

A woman was not allowed to fight. She had no strength compared to that of a man, be he a normal citizen or a trained warrior. However, in the courtroom her tongue could be as sharp as a knife and her words as cold as ice. Her art of fighting was not in physical combat but with words. Her battlefield was not the plains or the woods, but conference rooms and courtyards.

It was a delicate and refined art to turn the wheel of gossip in a woman’s favor. A woman’s words can tear apart a whole country with but a single well-placed rumor. But her words could also help build a nation. They could be soothing and comforting. As warm as her bosom, she could ease the troubles of any man. She was his encouragement and strength, a pillar of worship worth fighting for and defending. 

Halua found himself nauseated from taking in all this information in a single day. There was still so much to learn and absorb that he felt devastated at the idea of memorizing all this in a mere month. His mother was kind to him and ensured that he would be able to do it, but he knew even she worried about how well he would retain all this information once he left to meet his betrothed. 

By the end of that day, after another cooking lesson and the proper eating etiquette of a woman, Halua collapsed in bed. The thrum of a headache accompanied him until he fell asleep, once again exhausted at all that had happened. 

His training and lessons continued like this, from sun up to sun down and sometimes even longer, for the remainder of the week. More than once he wished to run away, but he had already given in to his father’s orders. He stayed obedient for both his parent’s sakes, knowing that even though his mother was against this plan, she was trying her best to help him. 

She was worth every ounce of love he could offer, and if only he could ease her worry, Halua did his best to take everything in. It hardly felt like he had made any progress after a week, but as the second week passed him by, he found himself finally catching on. By the end of the second week, he had gotten used to daily routines that a woman went through to prepare for the day as well as bid it farewell. It wasn’t hard for him to pick up some of the easier etiquette lessons, like eating or sitting or walking, but he still had trouble fine tuning his movements to match that of a proper daughter of a lord. 

In the middle of the third week, Mern came to visit. Halua, his mother, and Prina were gathered around the main living room, trimming the stems of flowers and arranging them into vases. Gardening, like cooking, was  something Halua would not be tasked with, but it was a skill worth learning and perfecting. And frankly, it was a welcomed respite from all the lessons.

Today, Halua’s hair had been braided and fitted with gold ornamented barrette. He wore a modest amount of makeup upon his face and was dressed in a simple day dress that craftily disguised certain areas that lacked feminine quality. Anyone who stared would assume him to simply be small breasted. 

Hearing a knock at the door, Prina got up to answer it. After a moment she came back in company of Mern and someone else they hadn’t expected. Hila, first to see who it was, put down her flower and stood up, bowing respectfully at their unexpected guest. Halua also got to his feet and bowed, his eyes settling on the man who stood with Mern. 

His half-brother, the only surviving offspring of Svelia: Prince Yatu. He took after their father more so than his mother, not just in appearance but in attitude as well. Or so he heard. Halua had only met his siblings a couple times, and that was when he was a child. Since then, he hardly knew a thing about them except what circled the gossip mill amongst the servants. That, and the fact that they hated him and loathed his and Hila’s existence.

“Good day, Prince Yatu. It is a pleasant surprise to have you grace us with your presence,” Hila said. 

Yatu smiled cordially at her. “Good day, Hila.” Despite being the mother of his half-brother, it seemed Yatu didn’t care for honorifics. Though Hila was not a noble woman, she still had a title to her name. Yatu’s gaze shifted to Halua who stared carefully at his brother’s shoulder. He felt those intense eyes study him and kept perfectly still. “Good day to you as well... sister.”

Halua swallowed. He felt overly conscious about the dress he wore and the makeup that dawned his face. “Good day, dear brother,” he returned, his voice straining to keep that feminine lilt as he struggled to stay calm. 

Aside from his mother and Prina, he had not presented himself in full dress to anyone. While he might not have minded so much if Mern gave him a critical eye, this was his brother. Just being in his presence made Halua’s stomach clench uncomfortably.

He anxiously pressed his hands together to steady his nerves. He knew he would have to meet many more people like this, but he didn’t feel ready. He wasn’t comfortable with this guise in the slightest. It made him fear what would happen when he finally met his betrothed.

Yatu crossed the room and stood in front of Halua. He walked around the younger man in the same manner that Teth had, taking in every angle. Stopping in front again, the corner of Yatu’s lips tipped into a cruel smirk. “You certainly look like a woman. It’s hard to believe we share the same sex. When I heard from Father what was going on, I had to see for myself.”

Halua didn’t meet his eye, nor open his mouth. He knew he was being ridiculed, and it chafed to have to bear it, but he couldn’t fight him. He didn’t have the right. 

The prince gave a thoughtful sound. “Well, I’m sure you have more to work on. We’ll see how you turn out by the end of the month. Father wants to see you before the end of the period so he can send word.” He paused briefly to give Halua another once-over before turning heel. “I need to return to my duties. I will see you again shortly,” he said over his shoulder, looking pointedly at Halua.

After he was gone, the attention shifted to Mern who was left in place. The man cleared his throat and gestured for them to all sit down. “I see you have been doing well,” he said to Halua, also looking him over though his gaze was not so criticizing.

Halua pressed his hands tightly against his lap. “Yes, Mother has been teaching me everything she knows. I am trying my best to put her knowledge to good use.”

Mern gave a thin smile, polite but only just. “That is good news.” He paused briefly before adding, “As Prince Yatu mentioned, Lord Teth would like to speak with you before the end of the month and see how you are doing. He is eager to have the engagement take place and alliance established as soon as possible.” 

No one made a comment about the lord’s eagerness. 

“Would the end of next week be good enough?” 

Halua glanced toward his mother who studied him quietly before looking back at Mern. “Yes. He will be ready.” 

Mern nodded. “Then I shall inform him.” He looked to Halua. “I will return to escort you when the time arrives.” 

Halau nodded his acknowledgment. There was little he could say of the matter, only accept it as it came. He walked Mern to the door when the man left and returned to where his mother and Prina were waiting. They resumed their task of floral arrangement, the atmosphere heavy from the pressure that had been added upon their shoulders. 

With increased rigor and purpose, Hila continued her teaching with Halua. She drilled into him every bit of knowledge she could. On the night before the end of the fourth week, she and Prina had taken wax to him again, removing any hair that sprouted where it shouldn’t.

After spreading the ointment over his skin, Halua was left on his own. He had become increasingly anxious that day, knowing that the next day he would meet his father again. It took him a great deal of effort to calm down enough to sleep. 

When morning came the next day, he went about his usual routine of getting ready. Prina fixed his hair, weaving a ribbon into his braids and twisting it into a bun. She helped him into another dress, something he was gradually getting used to, and even aided in applying his makeup. After he was done getting ready, he joined his mother downstairs as usual. 

It was around noon a knock came to the door. Prina answered it, revealing the visitor to be none other than Mern as promised. He greeted them before turning to Halua. “Lord Teth has invited you to share lunch with him.” 

Halua gripped tightly the spoon in his hand to keep from dropping it on his foot. With a glance at his mother, he gave her the utensil to let her continue cooking without him. Hila gave him an encouraging smile and waved him off. The sooner he got this over with, the better. 

Halua followed Mern to the main house and despite being in disguise, they still avoided any servants out of precaution. Mern took him to the dining hall where he announced their arrival. The man looked at him before opening the door and letting him through.

Waiting for him at the table was Teth and Yatu. Svelia was absent, but this wasn’t surprising. Nowadays she often ate on her own. Mern closed the door behind him and made his way to the table. Halua shadowed his footsteps until they came within range of the seats. 

“My lord, I have brought your guest.”

Teth raked over Halua’s form in that familiar criticizing manner and gestured to the empty chair adjacent to his own. “Have a seat.” 

Halua moved to the chair, pausing to let Mern pull it out for him before sitting. He was nervous in the presence of his father and brother, certain that everything he did -- and didn’t -- was being made note of. When he caught the eye of Yatu, he gave a small nod out of politeness, but quickly looked away after.

“How have your studies been, Halua?” Teth asked, drawing Halua’s attention to him.

“They have been well. I have learned many things these past few weeks, and have done my best to retain all that has been taught to me.”

His father nodded in approval. “I plan to send word to the Fujsha about the engagement tomorrow. We will arrange for a time and place for the betrothed to meet. The original purpose of this meeting is for both parties to get to know one another before marriage. However, we will use this time to allow a contract between Kata-Ilipah and A’sselu to be written and approved. The prince himself will determine if the marriage will take place. I trust you will not do anything foolish when the time arrives.” As this was being said, food was brought in by the kitchen servants and laid out on the table before them.

In turn, Halua kept his gaze lowered, with his eyes on the plate before him. “No, sir,” he replied, the word rolling off his lips out of habit. “I will not disappoint you.”

“I will announce you as my daughter in that time and you will be accompanied by guards to ensure your safety,” Teth continued as though he hadn’t heard Halua speak. “You will follow any customs of the Fujsha that is required. I trust you will do whatever is necessary to assure that the alliance between us and the Fujsha are solidified?” Though it was not said aloud, it was clear the man would not tolerate Halua causing any trouble that would force him to divide his attention.

Halua bit the inside of his lip and nodded his head. He didn’t trust himself to speak, lest he reveal how skeptical and suspicious of this plan he was. He just ate in silence as Teth continued to speak throughout the meal. The man hinted that they would hold off the official wedding until after the war, or at least until victory was ensured. It was believed that the heir of Fujsha was also a military man and would be tied between battle and marriage.

After the meal, Teth kept Halua around to learn in more detail of just what the boy had learned these past few weeks. The conversation was awkward and extensive, during which Halua felt small and insignificant, but eventually he was allowed to leave. He relayed all that went on when he returned to his mother and Prina. Hila shared her comfort and warmth with him while Prina served him some tea and snacks to help him stay calm. 

The next day, Teth sent a messenger out to deliver a letter to the Fujsha about their agreement. He also sent Mern to have Halua fitted for formal clothing for his trip. Prina and Hila took his measurements and gathered fabrics to make his robes. By this time, there was a buzz about the “secret daughter” of the noble family. 

When word came back four days later with the Fujsha’s response, the rumors that were whispered around the palace quickly turned into solid fact. Teth made it official, that he had been hiding a secret daughter from the public eye and that same daughter would be betrothed to the heir of their newfound allies and friends, the Fujsha. 

Halua, who originally had wanted just his father’s love and acceptance, suddenly found himself at the center of attention. His name and face were immortalized in the family tree, proof that he belonged there amongst them. He could not have been more nerve wracked and self-conscious in his entire life. This was not what he wanted when he asked for his father’s love. This was anything but what he wanted. And there was no way to take back the words that had made this ugly reality come to life.

updated 4/2/2012